Matt is working at Walmart as a greeter. It is a perfect "starting off" job for him. He loves it and people enjoy seeing him there so much. He catches the bus from our house and rides it home. It is so convenient. He is feeling so good about his independence and bringing home a paycheck. I can't explain how good this has been for him (and us).
When we are apart all day I am so much more excited to see him in the evenings. We have been putting Kaden to bed early and then we just hang out together. The evenings have ALWAYS been the best time for us. We have our best chats, biggest laughs, and I cherish the time. Today we even busted out the camera and took silly pictures like we used to. These are just a few of 'em.
We're babysitting my momma's dog. Tonight I enjoyed watching Toby and Ali play. I am 19 weeks today and had an appointment and will have the ultrasound next week. I still hardly remember I am pregnant this time around. There are too many other things going on. I am excited to find out what we are having....I'm not one that can even think about letting it be a surprise, although I wish I could! It'll be a surprise anyway right?!?!
On a side note. I am giving Spring another chance. Kaden wore shorts today. I wore my yellow "easter egg" shirt, a skirt, and these shoes. I felt so happy and spring-y.
I am sure that by now, the entire world has seen this about 10 times. I know I've watched it over and over. It gives me chills, I smile ear to ear, and (you guessed it) tears come to my eyes. It is beautiful..and even more beautiful because she is so humble, and innocent-seeming. I just love her. I love this video. Please go to the link and watch it...AGAIN.
I realized that I have confessed to being brought to tears on a regular basis. It's a curse, really. I cry when I am happy. I cry when I am mad. I cry when I am excited. I cry when I am sad. I cry when I am touched. I cry when someone else is crying. Oh, and if I am on the verge, a hug from the wrong (or right) person will make me melt into tears.
What is wrong with me?
I have had this problem (almost) forever. I was the perfect baby, of course. I only cried when appropriate. So, I am going to say that this problem started when I was about 5 years old, and has continued into adulthood. Believe it or not, I am much better than I was in my teen years.
It has been so embarrassing. Imagine, going to school, someone looks at you wrong, and giant tears well up in your eyes. Once, ONCE I TELL YOU, I got in a bit of trouble when my teacher asked me not to eat chocolate in class and I burst into tears! I got a bad grade in handwriting in 2nd grade and cried for weeks. It might as well have been the end of the world. OH--and don't even get me started with my drill-sergeant basketball coach I had in 8th grade. I am honestly surprised I survived.
Then, there are those embarrassing times when I watch a touching movie. Oh dear, just turn off the lights in the theater and let me be alone. Do you know how humiliating it can be to walk out into the broad daylight with puffy, red eyes and a tear-stained face? At least usually I have my mom by my side and she's almost as bad as I am. I am sure I got this from her.
I cried when Matt proposed and cried at my wedding. In fact...I have cried at a few weddings. I cried when my baby was born. Happy, exciting moments always bring tears to my eyes.
Then, the curse continues when I am trying to illustrate a point, emphatically. I was angry and attempting to speak my mind to She-who-shall-not-be-named when we were trying to fix things with our house. I had a point. I had a good point. I was angry, and ready to be assertive. And you know what ruined my perfect moment?!?!? Tears! Suddenly I was taken less seriously. Dang it.
I guess I can be grateful I cry quietly. Tears just stream out, but I don't sob (thank goodness). I am glad I can show emotion, even though it is often embarrassing and somewhat inappropriate. I am glad that I can feel the pain and happiness of others. So, I guess I will go on letting the tears fall. I might as well just let them, because Heaven knows there is no stopping tears once they're coming...(believe me, I have tried a million times)...
Consider the lilies of the field--how they grow, how they grow.
Consider the birds of the sky--how they fly, how they fly.
He clothes the lilies of the field. He feeds the birds in the sky and
He will feed those who trust Him and Guide them with His eye.
-
Consider the sheep of his fold--how they follow where he leads.
Though the path may wind across the mountains, He knows the meadows where they feed.
He clothes the lilies of the field. He feeds the birds in the sky and
He will feed those who trust Him and Guide them with His eye.
-
Consider the sweet tender children who must suffer on this earth.
The pains of all of them he carried from the day of his birth.
He clothes the lilies of the field. He feeds the lambs of his fold and
He will heal those who trust Him and make their hearts as gold.
-
He clothes the lilies of the field. He feeds the lambs of his fold and
He will heal those who trust Him and make their hearts as gold.
-
This song always encourages and uplifts me. I remember once, not too long ago, when I was having a particularly hard time, I was walking with my mom. We were standing on an overlook, gazing down at what I can only describe as one of the most beautiful pieces of God's creation. I was probably feeling overly-sorry for myself. She gently reminded me and encouraged me, "remember, consider the lilies of the field..." She proceded to remind me that I am never alone, that even the smallest petal on a flower is not forgotten. As silly as it may be, I think of myself as a lily. It is the flower of my birth month, and one of my favorites.
-
Tonight I listened over and over, and cried like a baby. I cried because I felt love and comfort. I cried because I was overwhelmed with peace and the love of my Savior and Father in Heaven. I cried because I had a new realization of how much they love my sweet, innocent, and dear husband. I cried because I know he will be healed. Their mercy is already in full effect in this little family. We feel comfort and peace like I cannot describe. I have been reassured that things will work out for our good. I know they will. Now, whenever I hear this song, I think of the lilies in the field and I remember my pains are carried, and I am (we are) fed, guided, and healed.
I am so proud of my handsome brother for his choice to serve our Father in Heaven and Savior. On March 18th he reported to the Missionary Training Center and embarked on his 2 year mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. (He will be serving in the Washington, Kennewick mission.) It was almost torture saying goodbye to him. Bitter-sweet in its truest form. I am confident that he will do an awesome job and will touch the lives of all he comes in contact with. He has a special, warm spirit about him, and the people he meets, teaches, serves, and loves are more than lucky to be able to experience even a small portion. I love him. I am proud of him.
Little man is surely going to miss "uncle Bud". He still talks about him all the time in his ramblings of choo-choo trains. These two were pals. We'll have to blow up a picture of the two of them, so Kaden remembers his friend.