handsome boys

I have been horrible about taking pictures lately. I usually have an overabundance. My camera has been acting up and I think it just needs a little tlc and a trip to the shop. I can't be without it! The boys were so cute the other day just sitting on the couch together and looking out the window. Their interactions with each other (almost) always make me smile.
I just had to post this picture because Kaden looks like he's 10 years old. What is up with that? I just can't ever get over how fast they grow and change.

Beckham was laughing so hard and playing a little hiding game in the cushions. He's so silly. He loves to cover his eyes and mumble "where's Beckham?" then throw his hands out and say, "Boo!". His personality just gets more fun every day.

Those two are just too cute. I love that they are enjoying each other so much, and it's so exciting to see little Beckham standing.

"money"

Money is a new member of our family. He is the cutest, softest, floppiest little monkey. My sister gave him to Beckham for Christmas. Becks has slept with him in his bed since then, but in the last several weeks he's found a new level of love for the little guy and carries him around everywhere. It's so cute to see how excited Beckham gets when he sees Money. He grabs him and wrestles him and hugs him, and completely smothers him with hugs and love, saying "money, money, MONEY!" over and over.

They look out the window (Becks new favorite thing), watch Baby Einstein, and Money is always wherever Beckham is. I think it's the cutest thing.
This picture is a crack-up. He looks so typical totally zoned out. He doesn't watch much tv but when he does, he's totally hooked. His very favorite right now is Despicable Me and he thinks the minions are the funniest things on earth.
Today in church Matt and I were joking about how Money is already getting lice. He's been washed a few times, and little fuzzies like to stick in his fluffy hair. So we are always picking them out.

I love the attachment and that he has something that he can take along that will bring him comfort. Kaden still has Special Blanky, although it is only allowed at our house and Nana's. There will come a time when Beckham is too old to be carrying around a lovey, but for now, I think it's absolutely adorable.

let's make it a tradition

Last weekend Jamie and I ran in the Canyonlands Half Marathon in Moab. This is the fourth time I've done the race, the second time with Jamie. I went alone this year--sans husband and kids. I missed seeing them at the end, but it seemed easier for everyone if I just went. We stayed in little cabins and it was a fun, short but sweet, trip. The temperature was perfect, about 65 degrees and overcast, although I could have done without the crazy headwind.

Last year we completely froze our little butts of up the canyon, so this time we waited until the last possible second to get on the bus. It paid off.

I look like I should still be sleeping. That's nothing a few snickers bars can't fix! I have decided that is the breakfast of champions. Not that I am one, but I'd choose snickers over wheaties any day. I think from now on that is my pre (and post) race food of choice.

I look like a giant albino next to my half-mexican-funsize friend. Jamie and I ran together the entire way. I loved it. We kept each other on pace and encouraged each other. We finished together too, which we've never done before and that felt awesome.

It was so fun running into Matt's cousins Dane and Tanner and their cute wives! I saw them three different times and it was such a nice surprise. It was pretty random since there are over 4,000 runners. They are so cute and I LOVE that picture of Dane and Stacy.

Our official chip time was 1:52 which I am pretty happy about. For the first race of the year without training much that isn't too shabby. It's crazy how many different things you think and feel through a race. I don't think I have ever felt as good as I did in this race. The first six miles felt great and I felt like I could have gone forever. After 8, which is usually where I start to fatigue, it felt a little harder, but still pretty good. It's always around mile 11 where I start to question my sanity and think over and over "I hate this!". Then, the second I cross the finish line I am so relieved and happy and within minutes feel so proud and ready to sign up for another one. It's weird and crazy, definitely crazy, but so rewarding!

I guess after running for 2 hours in the crazy wind, with watery sunscreen filled eyes, doesn't make for the best photo-op. My eyes watered the entire time, which they always do in the wind, but then my sunscreen somehow managed to get in there and I think I ran half the race with my eyes practically shut.

We did it and felt like rockstars. (My little volleyball/soccer looking socks are actually compression sleeves that I thought would help my injured leg, but tried them both just to see. My legs have never felt better during and after a race. I am totally sold.) Jamie is getting surgery on her ankle in a few weeks and I am really going to miss my running buddy.

worth celebrating

Maybe this isn't going to sound like something to get so excited about, but I am proud of my little boy. I guess that when things are harder the accomplishment seems greater. When Matt was in the hospital, the first time he was put in a standing position the room went wild. We were screaming and cheering and going nuts. He was breaking a sweat and couldn't take it for very long, but the accomplishment was huge. I get chills just thinking about it. All of the things that he did that we do without even thinking were huge obstacles for him. I was so proud of every little thing, from giving a thumbs up to learning to walk again.

Maybe these accomplishments of Beckham's aren't quite as miraculous, but they are still huge. He has to work really hard to do things that kids half his age do with ease. He has spent a lot of time being frustrated. I have seen him come so far in the recent months and it makes my heart so happy. We celebrated when Kaden hit milestones, like any parent does. With Beckham, it's a whole new level of celebrating and he is taking it in and basking in the praise.

The other night after stories and prayers we were tucking the kids in like we always do. I just moved Beckham into Kaden's room a few weeks ago and they are absolutely loving being in there together. It's adorable to listen to them talk and giggle. I was tucking Kaden in and telling him goodnight and I heard the usual rustling around in Beck's crib. I looked over and he had pulled himself up to his knees. He can get on his knees when the leverage is low, like using a toy basket or something to get to kneeling. He's never reached over his head and used his arms to get to his knees. We started clapping and yelling "GOOD JOB!" over and over. He got so excited he was giddy. He was giggling and smiling and saying "good job" and "yay" over and over.

He decided to go ahead and stand right up to his feet. Then we really went crazy. At 18 months, he pulled himself up completely by himself for the first time. It was a cheering fest. Kaden joined in jumping around and I think I have rarely seen Beckham more happy and excited. He was so proud. He kept yelling and giggling and was just beside himself.

He sat down and stood up a few more times. I think by this point it was a game. He wanted to see the reaction. He was saying "good job" and "yay" even more than we were. I kind of wish there was a live video recording of the craziness and celebration in their room that night. It was absurd and I am sure very entertaining.

He's getting so strong. We can hold his hands, sometimes only one hand, and he will wobbly walk around. He can go further and further the more we do it. I can feel the strength in his arms, which has taken forever to come. He's getting on his hands and knees and will even crawl a tiny bit before he drops to his stomach and does his now-perfected and quite fast army crawl. He is also developing endurance. He used to get so tired and sweaty doing even the littlest things.

I can't help but be so proud of him. Sometimes I worry like a mom and think what if he is always behind? What if other kids leave him out? What if he wants to run and play and it's really hard for him? But then I feel peace and just know that it will all be just fine. Maybe he won't be the fastest runner or the strongest one out there. Maybe sometimes things will be harder for him, but he is a strong-willed little guy and he is going to be just fine. And we are going to continue celebrating his little accomplishments like maniacs.

wiggle worm

Kaden has been a wiggly one since before he was born. When I was pregnant with him I felt like he was moving all of the time! When I went in to the Dr. during my third trimester checkups he would tell me to do a "kick count". I should feel at least 10 movements every 2 hours after eating. Are you kidding me? There was no need for kick count. This boy gave me 10 movements every 2 minutes all. day. long.

When he was born he had muscly little legs that just kicked and kicked. He tried lifting his head, arching his back. He always wanted to be looking around. He was such a happy little guy and always on the move.

Fast forward 4 years and he's as wiggly as ever. This boy never stops. He is going from the minute he wakes up in the morning until nap time. After about an hour he is up for round 2. He is so entertaining and fun but can be absolutely exhausting. At the dinner table he is this way and that way, up, down and all over. It takes him forever to finish his food. I am constantly telling him to sit down, put his feet down, face forward, scoot his chair up, etc.

Right now we are going through a phase. At least I hope it's only a phase. I feel like this boy is never listening to me. I tell him things and ask him things over and over and it's like he is in some other world. I try to get him to look at me when I am talking but his eyes are wandering and he just can't hold still for even a second. I feel like he is getting in trouble for the same things over and over. Some days I feel like I have been on him about one thing or another every minute of the day. I don't think he intends to be naughty or to ignore me. He is just so busy.

I'm perplexed and unsure of what to do. His preschool teachers absolutely adore him and say he is one of their favorite kids, but they are having the same problems. They say he is bright, sweet, wants to please, and is a happy and good boy. But, it takes him 5 minutes to cut out a simple shape because he has to be constantly reminded to sit, focus, and cut. It's weird, because at home we can sit and read story after story and he is totally engrossed. He will sit at the counter and play with playdoh for hours. He will play quietly on the floor with a puzzle or train for hours. So it's not like he can't be still. I guess it just is under his terms. I've been a little worried about the possibility of ADHD, but his teachers don't think it should be a concern.

He is in a very selfish stage. He wants what he wants and doesn't seem to care if it will affect someone else, or if he's been told no. He will cut in line, take a toy away from someone, eat a piece of candy I told him he couldn't have, etc. When I talk to him about it the only thing he can say is "but I wanted..."

I love the fact that he is energetic and enthusiastic. I love that he is happy and excitable. I love that he is strong and agile and loves to be active. I love his exuberant spirit. I want him to be able to wiggle and run and jump around. I want him to stay just the way he is. I just want him to learn that there is an appropriate time to be a crazy man and there is a time to be still. Sometimes you get what you want, and sometimes you don't. I want him to learn that he has to be respectful of other people. He needs to listen to his parents and teachers. He needs to listen to his peers and hear their wants and needs too.

I have a few ideas but really am just at a loss. He's and active 4-year-old boy. It's hard to know what is just a normal behavior and what needs reprimanding and refocusing. I'm trying to have more quiet moments with something structured to focus on for short periods of time. We are doing a marble jar that seems to help. He earns and loses marbles and when the jar is full he gets a special toy or outing. He thrives on positive reinforcement. It breaks his heart when he gets in trouble or sees that he has disappointed someone. I know he wants to be good, it's just figuring out how to get him to focus, listen, and do what is asked, even if it isn't something he wants.

ANY suggestions? please?!

making up for it, a little

Sometimes I get so annoyed with myself. I really drop the ball on a lot of things a lot of the time. I wish I was more ambitious and driven, had the crystal clear memory I used to, and had the energy to do all of the things that I think about doing. Lately, I have been in a constant state of lameness and I hate it.

I was going to throw Kaden a birthday party. He's never had one. He did turn four over 2 months ago. I kept putting it off for a better time to come around, but we all know that doesn't really happen. A friend knew I wanted to do it and had her sister send the cutest mold for a train cake. Well, time passed, no party happened, and now she needs the mold back. So, we decided we might as well make the cake. Kaden and I had a fun time decorating it despite the limited resources. The nasty pile of sugar goo just looks disgusting, but Kaden is so proud.

He says he doesn't ever want to eat it, which is good because I think I would forbid it. I am just going to let it sit on the counter and petrify and toss it out some day while he's at school . I really, really, hope that one of these days I will get some sort of motivation because my patheticness is getting to me and it's going to win me worst mother/wife of the year award.

18 months

Little Beckham is already 18 months old. It's so weird because on one hand he still seems like such a baby to me. I still have to carry him around like he's 6 months old so I think of him as a baby. But then, he seems so much older than 18 months by the way that he acts, his silly personality, and all of the words he says. He is so verbal and always copying our sounds and words. He likes to repeat things that Kaden says. A few days ago Kaden was practicing his "zoophonics" and Beckham was mimicking every letter sound. Kaden got so excited to be teaching his brother. I haven't really counted how many words I think Becks can say, but I bet it's at least 40 to 50. He strings words together into small sentences and babbles in his own language too. Some days he talks nonstop and others he prefers not to.

Beckham has entered into the tantrum-throwing stage. Wow that boy has a feisty attitude. He yells and screams and arches his back with the best of them. He has the fake cry down to a science and gives me this look that is just a crack up. He gets upset and puts his chin down and glares up at me under his eyebrows with a pouty face. Someday I hope to get a picture of that one. He yells "NO!" and "don't!" and all sorts of funny things that maybe in a few months won't seem so funny. I find myself turning my back to him so he doesn't see the grin on my face when he's in one of his moods. I don't want to encourage the bad behavior, but sometimes it really is just so dang funny. Oh the tragedies of life when you're a year and a half old.

He had his physical therapy evaluation today. They do an eval every 6 months and reassess the goals and needs. I couldn't remember our specific goals from when we first started and I wasn't sure if he'd met them. After today I feel so encouraged. He made and even exceeded our goals that 6 months ago seemed quite lofty. The evaluator said, "as a reminder, this is where he was when we started: Sitting for short periods of time, rolls over and can cross a room, but lacks the motivation, spends only seconds on his tummy, supports weight on legs for 5 seconds or less." I can't believe how far he's come and I'm so proud.

Beckham is still the cuddliest most lovable little man. He loves to snuggle, attack with hugs and kisses, say "I love you!", and be carried around all of the time. He loves soft blankets and his soft monkey. He is flirtatious and smiley, and squints his eyes and smiles, getting bashful when people pay attention to him. He is perfect and I'm a lucky Mama.