not far off

I had anticipated that even though Beckham took his first steps, it would still be a while before he was actually walking. He has always been cautious, and it's like his instincts are to walk and he will almost take off, but then his brain chimes in um, this could be dangerous. This could take effort and work...we don't like that, remember? What if you fall down? He's gotten to be a little stinker about walking. If he thinks I might let go of his hand, he will just plop down right then and there, refusing to walk. If he doesn't want to walk and I am trying to get him to, he will bend his knees and lift his legs, refusing to touch the ground. The kid is a bona fide two-year-old.

Lately he's been wanting to walk everywhere (holding my hand, of course). When I carry him, he is literally diving out of my arms (funny how that doesn't seem to scream danger to him) and saying over and over "i wanna walk, wanna walk, wanna walk!". He's really so stable most of the time and I feel like I could easily just let go and he would be off on his own, but he just won't have that.

The other day I was holding his arm while he was standing in his room. He was doing it completely on his own so I let go. He stood there for about 5 seconds, looked around and realized I wasn't holding him anymore, turned and walked about 6 steps to his wall, held the wall and turned around and started screaming at me! It was so hilarious.
The other day Diane, his pt, was here and we were talking about his cautiousness and stubbornness. We were talking about how it might be months before he feels confident to take off on his own. It was like he was listening and decided he was going to show us. That day he walked from fridge to island, from dishwasher to counter, from fridge to living room multiple times. Only about 5 steps at a time, but he did it over and over. He's been doing that for the last few days and each time he seems more confident and happy about it. It's just too adorable, watching him get so excited for himself.

Knowing now that he is okay, that he doesn't have any sort of syndrome or issue of great concern, I can say that I have absolutely enjoyed the fact that he has done all the physical stuff so much later. He's a smart little guy, but he has seemed to stay a baby longer and I've loved it. I'm excited for him to hit milestones, and they seem like such a bigger deal than they normally would, but I am grateful to have had the extra time carrying him around and keeping him safe and small. It won't be long before he is running around and living the life of a crazy little boy. I am excited for that too, but enjoying this time now.

These pictures are so funny. His impish little grin in the first, and in the second he just looks like an old man with a gut and remote in hand.

thankful little boy

I want to teach my kids to be grateful. I want them to appreciate the little things, to realize how blessed they are even when things aren't going their way. I want them to notice what matters, to realize that life is good, things are good, and that no matter what, there is much to be grateful for. So far, I think that Kaden is learning to appreciate things in his life, big and small. He is always happy with little things. Often we are driving and he will say, "Mom! It's such a beautiful day!" Beckham says thank you for everything and I love it.

The other night during dinner, he just starting going on and on and Matt and I were chuckling and smiling. This boy melts my heart. Even though he can be a handful, I am so proud of the little person he is and I wouldn't change anything about him.

Hey Mama, thank you for loving me. And thanks for being nice to my friends. And thanks for my new bumpy bed (bunk bed). Thank you for feeding me good food and sometimes treats. And thanks for all my trains and toys. And thanks for being nice to Beckham and for feeding him. Thank you for my pool and my trampoline and my sand box. Thank you for reading me stories. Thank you for taking me to roadside to play in the water. Thank you for feeding Daddy and being nice to him too.

I guess it shows what's important to us in this household: food and fun. We try to have lots of both.

life can be rough

This little man has animated temper tantrum throwing down to an art. When he gets mad he is mad. He screams and shrieks, and exclaims things like, "I don't wanna!", "go ousside", or whatever he is demanding. He knows what he wants. I have started putting him in time-out and he hates it when I start counting. He's been happy to help me count 1-2-3 for Kaden, but when I put my fingers up for him, he suddenly stops and looks surprised. He starts wailing again and finds himself alone in his room.

I guess you can't be happy and sweet all of the time. But, you can be downright adorable, and he's got that down pat.

i've got my work cut out for me

attempting to raise this child (and the other one, too!).

Man this boy gives me a run for my money. It's a good thing that I am not a paranoid mother, because if I was I would have suffered multiple heart attacks by now. As it is, he's got my heart pounding and me uttering prayers right and left. Between his constant climbing and jumping on and off of everything, his wandering off, his no fear of strangers, his feeling of complete invincibility, and the fact that he is just an active four-year-old boy, he has me feeling like I've been through the ringer on some days.

A few weeks ago he gave me a real scare. We had taken Matt to the dentist in the morning and while we waited we walked around downtown. It was pretty warm and humid, and Kaden was his usual self--bounding, skipping, and hopping around the entire time. After we picked Matt up we ran a few errands and picked up some groceries. On our way home both boys fell fast asleep. I had the air conditioning running the whole time in town and on the way home. We pulled into the garage and the temperature was in the 90's. I asked Matt to start unloading groceries and I would put the boys to bed. I took Becham first, laid him down and came right out for Kaden. It had been less than 2 minutes. When I got to the car Kaden had woken and was crying and Matt was telling him to get out of the car. I went to Kaden and helped him out and started to grab groceries.

I noticed him trying to climb back in the car and he was saying something that made no sense. He couldn't find something and as I asked him to tell me what he was talking about he made less and less sense. I pulled him out and tried to shut the door and he stumbled. I lifted him up and he stumbled again, still uttering nonsensical things. Then he started gagging and acting like he was going to throw up. I grabbed his hand to help him walk inside. He kept tripping and couldn't even stand and I started worrying. I picked him up and we hurried inside. I laid him down on the kitchen table and he had his head turned to the side. I asked him to look at me over and over and it was like he couldn't. His eyes were glossy, his cheeks red, and he just looked different. He wasn't sweaty at all and I was convinced he was having heat stroke. I took him into the living room and we sat on the couch. I had Matt get a cool wet cloth and some cool water. I was asking Kaden his name, my name, easy questions and he couldn't answer them at all. He threw up and I kept thinking, okay, when do I decide to call 911?!? I was racking my brain trying to remember the right things to do with heat stroke, which is completely different than heat exhaustion.

I gave him a few sips of cool water and laid him on the couch with his feet up and the cool rag on his head. I just talked to him and after about 3 minutes he started acting more normal and by 10 he seemed tired, but fine. He lounged around most of the day. I looked up heat stroke and decided that is what happened to him for sure. With kids it can come on so fast, especially if they have been active and they haven't had enough to drink. He had been drinking stuff all day, but that kid never stops and he does seem to get hot easily. It was just so crazy how fast it happened. Literally in 3 minutes or less. I was so thankful that I had done just the right thing to help him (thankfully no doubt from inspiration, and a class I taught at girl's camp), and he responded to it quickly.

It's so scary all of the things that can go wrong so quickly. I try not to entertain thoughts about what could happen at any moment, what could have been this close to happening at one time or another. It's amazing any of us survive anything. I know that having kids will give me a run for my money for the rest of my life, for one reason or another, but I just hope that I am paying close enough attention, that I am able to calm my mind and think clearly, and in the instances when I really have no idea what to do, I will be inspired and guided. Phew, this is tough!

totally makes sense

Kaden: Mama, some people really like to smoke sugarettes, but they are stinky.
Me: Are cigarettes good for people, or bad?
Kaden: Sugarettes are very bad for people who don't have smokestacks! 'Cause Mama, where is all that smoke gonna go?!

He kills me with his cuteness.

roadside

Every week a group of moms and our kids get together for picnicking, tubing, talking, and playing. It's so much fun. Our ages vary from 20-40something, and the kids from newborn to 15. We pack our lunches, towels, chairs, tubes, and whatever else we can think of and set up camp for the afternoon. I love it; the kids love it. Kaden is big enough this year to ride in the tube by himself. He loves the tube, but has even more fun in the tree. He spends the majority of his time on a limb watching all the other kids tube underneath him. He's such a monkey. Beckham loves the tube too, but he seems more interested in the snacks that I bring. His very favorite spot is on a big rock in the middle of the water. We sit there together and splash and he cheers "YAY!" and claps as kids float by. It's one of our very favorite times of the week when we get to soak up summer.

my big boy

Kaden is a big 4 1/2-year-old. He's changed so much in the past year. He's matured in a lot of ways. He is still an attention-craving, bouncing-off-the-walls, spirited little kid. He loves his life and is happy nearly 100% of the time. He really is the most joyful kid I know. He is sensitive though, and cries easily if his feelings are hurt or something isn't going how he wants it to. We are trying a few things to get his behavior under control. He wants to please and consistency pays off. He is sensitive to other people's feelings and always wants everyone to be happy. He is a loving big brother. He is so concerned about his baby. When we go to the gym, or places with a lot of kids, he is very protective of Beckham and really looks out for him. He wants to help him and make him happy. It's very cute how much they really adore each other.

Kaden talks (and wiggles) nonstop. He tells stories, and comes up with the most ridiculous things. There is never a dull moment with that boy. He loves to be outside. His favorite thing is watering anything and everything. He doesn't understand that I have to pay for all of that water he is using to create mud puddles and sidewalk paint. His train obsession never dies. He loves to learn new things, loves books and puzzles, and wants to help out with anything he can. He is so in love with his mommy and I couldn't be more happy about that.

Kaden has turned from baby into a little boy. He no longer has the big belly and chubby cheeks. He is lean and so muscly; he looks like a little man. He is coordinated and athletic. He climbs on absolutely everything. He is social and knows no stranger. He will talk to absolutely anyone. He's quite a charmer and gets people to fall in love with him. These past 4 1/2 years have flown by. I have absolutely loved this little boy from day one, and I am melted more and more every day. He has a secure place in my heart and I can't be more thankful for my little "Christmas Baby." God sure knew what our family needed when he surprised us with Kaden.