could this beautiful boy BE any more photogenic?

Those deep blue eyes, those lips--he's perfect.

i like adventure

A few weekends ago a few friends and I got together to hike down Cascade. I have done it multiple times, but it's been years. You climb down into a canyon and follow the water down to a trail to hike out. There are about 10 jumps ranging from 10 ft to about 20. Jumping off and sliding down waterfalls is so much fun. Once you make the first jump, there is no turning back. You have to finish.

The storm clouds were brewing on our drive up, but that didn't deter us from our plans. As lightning struck I started getting nervous. I never used to get nervous, but ever since becoming a mom, my logical (and completely illogical) brain kicks in and warns me of every possible scenario that could happen. what if lightning strikes the water? what if I get hypothermia? what if I slip and hit my head? what if I die and my kids don't have a mom? Seriously, it's ridiculous. Regardless, I made us say a little prayer, just to be sure.

We got out of the car to start the climb into the slender canyon, and Marisa and Angie started busting out their wetsuits. I thought it was hilarious, I teased them, and had to take a few pictures-especially since Angie's was made for infants and we had to tug and pull to get it on. I was laughing to hard. It turns out, I was sort of wishing I had the silly wetsuit on. I remember the water being absolutely the coldest water I have ever been in. Really, there is nothing that can prepare you for the absolute and complete shock that goes through your body as you jump into that water. I think it's 34 degrees, 35 tops. It takes your breath away, makes your entire body go numb, and is exhilarating. The problem was that usually I go when it's hot and sunny. This day it drizzled and stormed and I thought I was going to shiver myself to death. It was amazing anyway.

I'm like 98% excited, 2% scared. Or maybe it's 98% scared, 2% excited. I am only scared because I know how freaking cold that water is. I know I am the biggest dork in the world. I come by it naturally, but anyway, we felt kind of tough for doing it without wetsuits.

The canyon is so beautiful. It's breathtakingly beautiful. I am always just so amazed at how gorgeous God made this earth.

We had so much fun, I can't wait to go next year.

a little thought...

a little thought...

he's so cool

Never a dull moment with this one; he's hilarious.

he's 2!

Two years ago this precious little boy made his surprise debut into the world. He started out so tiny and helpless. He had black hair, didn't open his eyes for two days, laid in the NICU like a slug for two weeks. He came home on oxygen and slept 20 hours a day. He was like a floppy rag doll. He grew pretty fast. He never cried, and his big beautiful blue eyes were always glued to me. He followed me everywhere I went with his gaze. He was a little snob and wouldn't drink out of a bottle. He wouldn't drink pumped milk. We bonded and spent many hours together just the two of us. He has been slow to hit physical milestones, which has made him seem smaller, longer. He's always been cuddly and always wants his Mama. I cannot even explain the love and special connection this baby and I share. It is not any more special than my bond with Kaden, it's just different and I love that.

Beckham is big now. He's grown and learned so much. He weighs almost 29 lbs, talks constantly, and it's obvious he always thinking and learning new things. He loves his brother. He is feisty and knows what he wants. He is two. He has grown and changed so much over these last two years. It's been such a joy to see his personality unfold, to see him hit milestones that have been such a challenge for him. This boy has me sufficiently wrapped around his fingers. I am so in love.

Last night we sat on the couch and watched the Backyardigans. Such a cute show. He loves it and sings along. He had just exhausted himself when it was getting dark and I drug him off the trampoline kicking and screaming "wanna jump!" He cuddled with me for an hour straight. I caressed his cheeks, kissed his head over and over, and played with his chubby little feet. I was in awe at his perfection and my heart nearly exploded with love and joy.

Happy 2nd Birthday to my beautiful baby boy. Beckham, I love you so, so much!

(not so) bright and early

A few weeks ago my friend Lacy asked if I wanted to run with her one morning. We had to meet at six so she could be back before her husband left for work. When my alarm went off I wanted to cry. I wanted to stay in bed where it was so warm and cozy. Having to meet someone is better for me because I get to be accountable to someone. That first run was hard. I felt out of shape and tired, but I loved it. We met every day that week. We have invited a handful of other girls to come and now there are 5 of us that go...even though all 5 haven't been together yet. We've been going for 4 weeks. I still moan when I hear my beeping alarm at 5:30 AM but it feels so good to get out and get moving so early. I love how beautiful it is here. The air is brisk and smells so good.

It's been so good for me. It's good for me to make myself do something hard because I normally resist and I can guarantee I wouldn't be doing this on my own. I love the feeling of having exercised before 7 in the morning. I get home and feel awake and ready for the day. I am getting so much done in the morning. I really feel like by noon I have accomplished more than I usually would have all day. My kids are so happy that I am already up when they wake. I got into a horrible habit of letting Kaden come and jump all over us before we would crawl out of bed. I can't even remember the last time I got to see the sun rise. Now I get to see it rise nearly every day. It is so beautiful.

Matt and I still need to work a lot on getting to bed earlier. I know that now school has started and it will be harder to meet most of my friends, it's going to be harder for me to keep it up. At least now it's become somewhat habitual and maybe that will help. I don't know why I posted a whole long thing about nothing, but I really feel so much happier and energetic getting up early, being able to have some time to myself, and to think and run, and to enjoy good company and beautiful surroundings. Maybe that saying is true, Early to bed, early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise. I could sure be happy about that!