Tuesday, February 26, 2008

"...it's not always rainbows and butterflies..."

I am a sunshiny-girl....and I like to try and see what is bright, what is best. If I were a crayon, I would be yellow. I am sometimes accused of sugar-coating, and pretending it's all alright. And, it mostly is. As great as things are, as happy as we are, and as much as we have to look forward too, it's not all sunshine. To put it candidly, sometimes things just plain aren't fair. Sometimes things are completely out of our control. Sometimes things are overwhelming and scary. For the most part, we try to ignore those harrowing thoughts and return to our "sunshiny" state, the optimistic side; we decide that we ARE where the grass is greener. This helps us survive, helps us find the happiness, and opens our hearts to what is good, the tender mercies we receive daily, and the miracles that flood our lives.

I never begrudge the success of those around me. I genuinely find joy in loved ones success, happiness, and achievement. I must admit however, that every time a friend gets a promotion, goes on some wild adventure, etc. there is a tinge of sadness. There is grief for what has been lost on our part. Dreams that were stollen in a matter of seconds. Ability, agility, mental clarity, ambition, years of hard earned knowledge and success, a drive for learning and accomplishment, working knowledge of many things----those things are a blur. Matt still has some of his motivation and ambition, but it has changed drastically. His sights must be set on a new bar now. One that is exponetially more challenging, but on many levels less rewarding....at least in his own mind. His frustration grows as he becomes more aware of limitations.

I try to be a positive force for him. I too feel overwhelmed and concerned for what our future might hold. But, I must say, that the most heart wrenching thing is seeing my sweet husband have to struggle on a daily basis. If I could, I would take all of his pain, frustration, and struggle from him. I earnestly believe that there is a plan for everyone. I believe that our life is exaclty according to plan, and I have immense faith that everything will work out just fine. I know that our story inspires others and maybe we can help someone out along the way. I know that we have learned incredible lessons through all of this, and we will continue learning those lessons.
Our lessons learned are countless...and I know there are many more to come. I will just include my favorite one. We have learned....and are learning what unconditional love is all about. We continue to learn how to treat each other, how to love each other, and how to overlook weaknesses. It is not always easy, because our life is nothing like we pictured it would be. We know we are in it for eternity, and I couldn't be more happy to be with my sweet husband forever.
Despite how undescribably hard some days are, I am so thankful that we can look around and notice the sunshine. Because the sun does shine every single day, no matter how cloudy it might be. I am so thankful that we are receptive to those blessings our Father in Heaven pours upon us daily. He gave us this challenge, and he is with us every step of the way, helping us and carrying us.

Friday, February 22, 2008

Just a few random, recent ones....

Just thought I'd put up a few recent pictures. They are kind of random...but you know you want to see them!

Last week we ventured up to Utah to see Matt's fam and I got to go to my friend Katie's baby shower. It was so fun to see my old roommies!

"Hey mom! Look what I found, I am so sneaky...." Couldn't quite get Matt to smile for the camera. Kaden's wiggling, squirming, giggling, and crazy spasms might be pre-occupying him....

He is going to be such a studios little fellow....
Of course...we already think he is the smartest baby around.

All of those extreme athletics and studying really tend to wear a little guy out.....time for some shut eye.

Sometimes we carpool with my friend Angie when we got to the gym. The boys go to active kid care where they dance, chase each other, play on jungle gyms, and have a schmogaspord of toys....needless to say, they are more tuckered out than we are! Kaden and Teryk just couldn't survive the ride home.

Thursday, February 21, 2008


I am so mad! I changed my template...and I don't even totally love it....but I accidentally erased all of my friend's links! So....I found as many as I could, but if you don't see your link up there, PLEASE email me, or leave a comment so I can find you again! Thanks!


Tuesday, February 19, 2008

The BEST husband in the world.....

belongs to ME!

Seriously, look at that cutie....I honestly don't even remember the last time I did the dishes. I have trained him well! Actually, I cannot take any of the credit, he always does them willingly, HIS idea, no asking from me. I LOVE IT. Of course, this is not the only reason he is the best husband. He is so willing to help all of the time, with anything! He feels so good when he is needed. He is always trying to show his love to Kaden and me. He is the best, I love him, and am so glad he chose ME!

Monday, February 18, 2008

A New Place to Call Home

Matt and I are SO EXCITED about this! We have been making plans for this house since late November. It's been a bit of a hassle, but things are falling into place. It's a pre-fab, "kit built" home. We purchased the lot, and the home will be put onto it when the snow melts...if it melts :) We are going to have a 2 car garage and build a full, walkout basement. Our lot is in a new subdivision near us with a lot of young families. There are walking trails, little parks, and it's right in town. We are thrilled about this. I posted a few pictures, but they didn't turn out too well since there was so much sun shining in the windows......which by the way is my FAVORITE THING about this house! SO many huge windows....lots of light YAY! The house is a model home, so the furniture and decor isn't ours....but I will post when it is ours, cause it's going to be GREAT!

Living room

Master Bedroom

I love, love, LOVE the kitchen! SO much space, so much light, a big dining area...and I LOVE the bar!

I am also loving the hanging fixtures...pretty cool. There are also big glass doors in the dining room and we are going to put in a big deck outside.

The house is not too big, not too small, but juuuussstt right!....

Thursday, February 14, 2008

Be Mine

Happy Valentine's Day! I love this holiday...always have. It is just such a happy day!

Four years ago today my sweet husband proposed to me. I was in school in Idaho and he was in Utah. He came to visit me for the weekend and I had planned a fun surprise day for us on Valentine's day. We were going to spend the day with our friends Andrea and Steve, hiking, playing in the snow, having a dutch oven lunch, etc. I thought all of my plans and preparations were sneaky and I was so excited.

We had to go pick up a few last minute things for our meal, and I invited Matt to come along. He declined saying, "I have a project I have to work on"....I thought, "what a nerd...it's a Saturday, Valentine's day, and he's doing homework?!?!" but...I let it go. Little did I know that when I came back my apartment was a mad house...one roommate was on watch at the window, the others frantically cutting paper hearts, finding ribbon, etc. I guess I almost spoiled my own surprise by walking in when they were all screaming, running, and hiding the evidence.

Well, we had the funnest day. It had just snowed and was beautiful outside. We had fun just playing together in the snow and having a care-free day. After lunch Andrea and Steve said they were going on a walk. We went the other way thinking they wanted to be alone. After a while we ended up making a strange loop to somewhere we weren't supposed to be going. Matt was acting kind of strange, but I didn't think much of it. All of a sudden we were on this path by the river, in the snow, and there was a trail of rose petals. We followed it and made our way to a little dock overlooking the river. There were roses and rose petals everywhere. In the middle of everything was a stack of construction paper hearts tied together with a ribbon. He had me read them all outloud...which by the way got much harder with each tender little note. It was the top ten reasons he wanted to marry me. I was cought COMPLETELY off guard...which was wonderful because for some reason I always accidentally spoil my own surprises. He got down on his knee and pulled out the ring and was so nervous he FELL backward and dropped the ring in the snow. We were frantically looking for it and I was thinking "oh no, he is so nervous and the poor guy is going to be so embarassed...." I found the ring and handed it back to him. He threw it in the river and proposed with the REAL ring. (I was so glad too because the other one was pretty ugly actually...I was nervous about what I would have said to him about that). The ring could not have been more perfect, the proposal more special, and the man more fit for me. I was ecstatic and said YES of course! We took a bunch of pictures and it's so fun to look back at them....we were all dressed up in our snowclothes and beanie hats. We went and had a nice dinner that night and I felt like the happiest person on earth. That is the shortened version but it was a wonderful day, and such a surprise. I LOVE HIM!!!!

Wednesday, February 6, 2008

For any of you unbelievers.....I wasn't lying....

Today I went to visit my mom and she was taking some pictures of the snow....I know there are a bunch, but you need to get the whole picture.....

Not my most flattering shot...but seriously! The snow is touchin the roof!

My mom's little studio

My parent's house is actually quite big....although it doesn't appear that way. Just imagine what our tiny 900 sq ft. house looks like right now!

Oh....and rumor has it, it's supposed to snow again on Monday!

Monday, February 4, 2008

Sick and Snowy

Well...this isn't so much how we feel today...although it is a cute and cheesy picture.

The baby and I are both sick today, and it snowed another 1 1/2 feet. YIKES! I cannot believe how much snow we have in our yard. Our house is pretty much burried and our yard is a giant mound of snow. It's pretty amazing actually. Poor Kaden had a horrendous cough and a fever of almost 103 and he was trying to be a trooper and play, but he just wanted to lay around and be held. I felt that way too...so we snuggled most of the day. His little eyes were just red and streaming, it was sad, but so cute. I swear I get more sore throats than a family of 10...I think I may just have to excise my tonsils myself. Thankfully somehow Matt has the immune system of an iron man...he never gets sick! Poor guy has to just listen to us whine and complain...while trying to act tough. Anyway, it's been pretty blah around here for a few days, but hopefully we are on the mend! I am ready to leave the house!