Sunday, February 26, 2012

half past two

Today this little dude is two-and-a-half. I still think of him as a baby, but I guess I need to stop that.  He is getting so big.  He is talking like crazy, singing songs, and getting stronger and faster every day.  His tantrums have gotten much better, happen less frequently, and are so much easier to control.  Thank goodness.  I thought they might be the death of me.  He is still the most snugly little guy.  He loves to give hugs and kisses.  He says "I love you!" all of the time; it's my favorite thing to hear.  He loves to talk and all day long I hear, Hey Mom! Hey Mom!... when I ask him "what?" he says ummmmmm, sooooooo. I have someping to say..... and babbles in indiscernible nonsense.  He just loves to hear himself talk. 

The other night he said his first real prayer at dinner.  He usually tries to talk along, or inserts his own things, but he actually said it start to finish.  He and I both were so proud.

Dear henly father
thafful we happyyy
thafful food
Jesus loves meeee
Jesus name, AAMEN

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

trying to be sneaky

Beckham loves to sit on the counter.  He thinks he owns it. He will play happily and calmly on the counter for an hour straight.  If I go too close when he doesn't want me there, he pushes me away NO Mama, my counter!  He was up there the other day and I called out to him.

Beckham, what are you doing?

paying paydoughs mama!

When I turned around to look at him this is exactly how he looked back at me.  HAH! caught in the act.  I didn't realize there was a plate of brownies on the counter.  Little stinker.

 I'm sure he was eventually going to get to the playdoh...

Monday, February 20, 2012

an unexpected adventure

We got to make a very spontaneous trip up to Utah a few weeks ago.  It was so much fun.  For me, it was just what I needed. I was feeling so overwhelmed, tired, and stuck in a rut and I needed some time with my sweet sister, favorite friend and family.  The trip was rejuvenating.  It was everything I needed and much more.

On the drive home I felt so tired. My head was pounding and my back sore. I stopped basically every hour, and did everything I could think of to stay awake and alert.  It just wasn't working out very well.  When we were almost to Monticello, about 2 1/2 hrs from home, I battled with myself.  Do I just keep pushing on and praying we make it? Do I bite the bullet and get a hotel? Our safety really is more important than the cost... but I really don't want to have to get up early tomorrow to drive the rest....  It really was a bit awful.  Finally, I just decided it wasn't worth the risk.

We overpaid for a not-the-greatest hotel.  The kids were so excited.  We ate dinner at Subway, pretty much the only place in town. I tried to be patient as the kids ran around our room like it was Christmas morning.  They climbed on the chairs and jumped from bed to bed.  We busted out the bathing suits and headed to the pool.  The boys were adorable.  Beckham jumped into the pool about 50 times.  He would stand on the edge and yell, "one! two! freeee!!!" and hop in to me.  He dunked his head in and acted so brave.  Very unlike my overly-cautious boy.  Of course Kaden was in Heaven and kept saying, "This is the BEST day EVER!"  He kept calling the hotel the nutella.  It was funny and cute.

We dried off, warmed up, and cuddled on one bed.  We watched silly shows and ate snacks.  It was just what I remember as a kid when we would stay somewhere.  It was always exciting and fun.  After we had stayed up too late we turned off the lights.  Beckham was mauling Kaden so we had to bring him into our bed, where he climbed all over me and kissed me 1000 times.  Kaden said over and over, "I love this nutella mom! I am so happy we are here....thank you for taking us to this nutella! Thanks for taking me swimming!"  I felt so happy seeing my kids delighted. 

Kaden wanted his nightly stories and insisted I make one up.  I told him something silly about dragons in a sparkly cave.  When I thought I was done, he picked up and told the most hilarious story.  It lasted at least 10 minutes, and while he was in the middle of a sentence all of a sudden it was silent.  Matt and I were like, okay, then what happened? and we realized he had fallen asleep.  Mid-sentence, mid-story, and his voice didn't even drift off.  Oh, I love that silly boy.  I went to sleep just thanking my Heavenly Father for such a beautiful family.  I can't even believe how much I love them.

Even though I definitely hadn't anticipated having to stay overnight so close to home and having to fork out a silly amount of cash, it was absolutely worth it.  Our fun unexpected adventure is one we will all remember for a very long time.  It definitely will always be one of my fondest memories of our little family.

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

being happy is always right

We've had some stress and frustration regarding Matt's job the past few months.  The other day we picked him up from work and he was a little annoyed and vented to me.  Kaden pipes in:
"Daddy, I understand you are a little bit frustrated and I see maybe you are a little angry.  But Dad, now it not the time to be angry; it's the time to be HAPPY!"
We just laughed.  I told him he was right and I loved his perspective. He said, "well of course my spective is right. Being happy is always right!"

Oh how I adore my incredibly happy boy.  He practices what he preaches. 

Monday, February 13, 2012

little plumber

Mom is too cheap to buy new diapers that fit.  We have to get through the huge box first.  So little bum crack will be showing for a bit longer.

sometimes I have to get on a soapbox

I am not always outspoken.  I usually keep my opinions to myself. About many things, I don't even have strong opinions. But, when I do feel strongly about something I will not be quiet.  Today I saw something that just got me fuming mad (so naturally, I had to step up on a soap box for a minute).

While I love pinterest and have found some inspiring and fun things there, one thing has been driving me crazy.  I get so mad when I see "health" and "fitness" boards smothered with photos of airbrushed, half naked women.  5 minute great, sexy yoga!  Oh please. The picture is practically pornographic. If you do 5 minutes a day of yoga, (sexy yoga, that is), you will have sleek arms, six-pack abs, a tiny waist and legs, a golden tan, and a gigantic, perky chest. Other photos have women in string bikini's, seductive poses, with captions about how to lose weight, ignore hunger, do this or that weight loss cleanse etc. It makes me so sad.  I guess it's just the same things we see in magazines over and over again, but I think it's so destructive and for most, not motivating in the right way.

I went through a period of time in college when I was overly obsessed and concerned with my body.  In hindsight, I have no idea why I wasted so much energy caring.  I was running with the cross country team training for track season and surrounded with girls who were concerned with weight.  It was so new to me.  Something I never cared about or even thought about before.  I think that I was caught completely off guard and saturated with people constantly talking and worrying about their bodies.  It made me think, well, if you think you look bad....what about me?  Although I feel that I see things clearly now, feel very happy and confident with myself, at the time it was very real to me, however delusional it might have been.

Seeing an ever-increasing obsession with being thin, fit, and what is universally thought of as "beautiful" makes me feel sad and wish I could do something.  My best friend works at an inpatient eating disorder clinic and the stories she tells just make me feel sick inside. There are women of all ages and walks of life.  Some of these girls are so young and are so hurt inside.  It is unbelievably sad.  Being surrounded with images, media, and other women on a quest for perfection can delude even the most secure individuals. 

Exercise can be, and should be fun.  It should be enjoyable and something one does to feel better. It should be something we do to feel strong, to feel capable, to be healthy.  Eating healthfully should also be enjoyable and something one does to feel better. These are things we should do to show appreciation to and for our bodies.  Of course it is okay to want to look your best, but the constant competition and comparison battle is depressing and often the goal gets so unattainable and unhealthy that it is truly a never ending internal war.  The time spent over-thinking, feeling guilty, punishing your body, and comparing every little thing becomes all-consuming. 

I love to run. I love to hike, climb, bike, swim and be outside.  I have said it a million times, but for me, exercise is more mental and emotional.  It makes me happy, calm, more patient, more mentally sharp and emotionally stable.   It makes me feel better.  My body wants to exercise, my muscles want to stretch and move.  Every one's do.  I enjoy healthy foods, although I don't always eat right.  I am also a complete sugar addict.  I know that when I eat right, I feel better.  The body craves good nutrition.  The body craves water, vitamins, minerals, and all the goodness that we can put into it.  The body will respond positively when we treat it right.  Exercise and eating habits should be for a happy and sound mind and body.  When we treat ourselves right, our emotions, our minds, and our bodies will thank us.  (And there is absolutely nothing wrong with a Snickers every now and then, or a day to veg on the couch.)

My anger toward all of this is only toward the media and those behind the ever increasing saturation of the "ideal".  For those caught up in the battle, I only feel so sad. I truly do know how hard it is to climb out and stand on top. For those struggling,  I have a  feeling of desperation.  I wish I could fix it all and make every one feel amazing about themselves.  I wish I could make every one appreciate their body for the miraculous gift that it is, for the ability to heal, to perform, and to serve for a lifetime.  I wish I could erase all of the images that create a delusion of what ideal is.  I wish I could erase feelings of discouragement and self-loathing. I wish I could erase the need for perfection.  It isn't real.
Coming to a feeling of peace, confidence, and self-respect is a happy place to be.

Tuesday, February 7, 2012

i want us to be cute and happy when we're old

oh my gosh, this is so cute. It's old so I am sure everyone else has already seen it, but this totally made my evening. 

Sunday, February 5, 2012


 One of my very favorite memories from my childhood is making cookies with my mom.  We would pull chairs up tot he counter to stand on.  She would put aprons on us, which always draped over our little shoulders and hung down almost to our feet.  She would let us dump the flour in, stir, and eat dough.  Now, making cookies is one of my favorite things to do with my own kids.  They get so excited to help out, and even more excited to reap the benefits and enjoy a delicious treat.  It's so fun to watch these two interact--when they are getting along, that is.

Saturday, February 4, 2012

death by cuteness

Kaden came to dinner wearing these incredibly dirty 3D glasses.  He was proud and wore them all night.  He is also obsessed with the hat and has been wearing it for 5 days straight. He is happy and adorable.  He is outrageous and spirited.  He keeps a smile on my face and completely wears me out.  COMPLETELY wears me out.