Monday, November 30, 2009

3 months

The baby is 3 months old. Wow. I adore him beyond my ability to describe. I love his little squeaks and noises. I love his soft, yummy-smelling hair. I love his little grin. I love his dark, beautiful eyes. I love his chubby, chubby cheeks. I love his Buddha belly. I love his little chubby feet. I love his dimpled hands. I love how he sucks on his fist. I love that he loves to be held and cuddled. I love that he sleeps so well. I love how much he loves his bath. I love his strong little legs that kick and kick when he is excited. I love his big, wobbly head. I love his soft skin. I love his double chin. I love how he watches me. I love how he looks all around him, like he is learning so much, soaking everything in; he looks so wise. I love his content, mellow disposition. I love how beautiful he is. I love his developing personality. I love every single inch of him.

Friday, November 27, 2009

A gift

Matt had to work on Thanksgiving and he didn't even complain one bit. It sort of messed up the plans we originally had, but it ended up being a very wonderful day. When I picked Matt up from work, he handed me an envelope and said, "look what someone gave me today."

I opened it up and found a beautiful card. Upon opening it, I found a $100 bill, and no message. I said, "Wow Matt that is so nice. Who gave this to you?"

"I am not sure. I don't know him, but he was so nice. He came in and started talking to me and wishing me Happy Thanksgiving, then said, 'this is for you'. I think he was just really happy that we were open on Thanksgiving."

I smiled, "no babe, I am sure he knows who you are. I don't think it has anything to do with the store being open. He was a nice man who wanted to remain anonymous, but I bet he's come in before and has noticed you. You make an impression on people, a good impression."

I just kept smiling and little tears stung my eyes. There is so much good in the world, people that are willing to share what they have, willing to give anonymously who expect no recognition. What a nice person to give my man, our family, such a wonderful gift.

I am so proud of Matt. I don't think I say it enough. He is so willing to work everyday, happy to do it. He is kind to absolutely everyone who walks in the door. He never complains, even though his foot and knee always hurt him when he comes home. The first thing he says when he comes through the door, after greeting all of us, is "what can I do to help you babe?". He is so special, and other people notice it too.

Sunday, November 22, 2009


"MMMM, dewwissious!"

Friday, November 20, 2009

on my mind

For the past week this remarkable family has been in my thoughts and prayers nearly constantly. Precious Gage went up to live with Heavenly Father on Sunday afternoon, and his memorial service was yesterday. He was only a few weeks older than Beckham, and every time I look into my sweet baby's eyes, I think of Gage. I didn't even know him, and I haven't seen Tara or Isaac in years, but their tragedy has hit so close to home. I cannot even pretend to understand or feel a hint of what they are going through, but I do know what it is like to have your world completely shattered. I know what it is like to love a child more than life. I can only imagine what their family must be feeling right now.
My heart has literally been aching for them. I have shed tears and I wish that there could be some way I could help to ease their heavy burden.
Through all of this, I have been so impressed with their maturity, grace, humility, gratitude, and never ending faith. It has been such a strength to me and countless others. Despite a nearly paralyzing tragedy, they are able to praise God and see the many blessings that were and are ever present, despite the unimaginable heartache.
Things like this are so humbling. They bring you to your knees and you don't get up for a very, very long time. These experiences are faith building. It is amazing how one little life was and is able to touch hundreds of people, around the world, build faith, and bring people closer to a loving and all knowing father in Heaven. I cannot understand why some things have to happen. I will never know the purpose of all things, but I do know this: God is good, He does have a plan, and he loves his children more than we will ever comprehend. This bring peace and comfort into the hearts of people who mourn.
This is another reminder in my life not to take things for granted. To try to enjoy every moment with my precious children and wonderful husband. To focus on what really matters. To always remember to have faith and to count my blessings. I am so sorry for the incredible loss the Fleeners have experienced. I am so sorry for the tragedies that happen in any one's life. I am so thankful that I know there is a plan and there is a God and Savior who love unconditionally and who will envelope us in their arms and carry us through.

Wednesday, November 18, 2009


I met up with some of my girls today to do some shopping. What an adventure. Between the three of us, there were 6 kids under four--quite an undertaking. I am sure people saw us coming and ran for their lives, rolled their eyes, or prayed we would leave. Considering how long we were out and about the kids did awesome. We took them to BIG BOUNCE after the boring shopping spree and let them completely exhaust themselves. Aside from a few serious meltdowns from my own child, it all went off without a hitch.

I made the mistake of buying Kaden a train ornament for the tree. LIKE he would actually allow it to hang on the tree. What was I thinking? He had to carry it throughout the store, ended up dropping it and breaking pieces off before we left, and insisted on fixing it then and there. Upon finding this would not be possible, meltdown ensued.

I put the train in my purse so he could go play, and he cried and cried because he wanted to bring it with him. No matter what I said to try to calm him or explain the reasoning, he just got louder and more frustrated. I was SO mad at him! It is so disappointing when you do something you think will be so awesome for your kid and all he does is cry! Finally, he managed to forget the train momentarily and joined the other kids in the "bouncy castles."

I can't believe how stressed out he got over this train. Should I be worried? When he came around he was the sweetest thing and I felt guilty for being upset. I hate feeling guilty! He really is such a sweet, well-behaved, polite little guy. I guess he has a right to get bent out of shape and have a complete breakdown every now and then. Oh, I love that kid.

What a fun and exhausting day.

Kaden got me to participate. It was actually a LOT of fun. We moms might have had almost as much enjoyment as the kids.

No fear from this guy. He launched himself off of everything.

Glad we had such a great time. Glad the day is over.

Friday, November 13, 2009

the boys

make me happy. really, really happy.

You know those people that post a bajillion pictures of their kids; it's almost sickening? They all look the same to you and you wonder what the big deal is. Well, I am that person and I took so many pictures today. Just pictures of the little misters living their simple lives. It made my day. I'm in love, and that's what the big deal is. So, I post a bajillion pictures.

I can hardly stand how cute this baby is. He has hit every milestone for his age, except the head-holding thing. He is still so floppy! We're working on it.
He tired out pretty quickly and had to take a break. He just layed there sucking on his hands. He's such a content little guy--I count my blessings every day. I am not sure how I would do with a baby that cried a lot. I think I have heard Beckham actually really cry less than a handful of times. He is so easy to make and keep happy and I am so thankful for that.
Kaden is my little train boy. He reads about trains, makes train noises, and plays with trains all day long. He is so much fun. I thoroughly enjoy hanging out with this little person all day. We can actually hold conversations, do fun things together, and he puts me in my place when I'm "naughty". He scolded me today for accidentally saying crap.
This child is such a sweetheart. He is so compassionate and caring. He worries about people when they are sad or crying. He asks me all day, "how are you momma? Are you happy?...Don't be sad momma.." He is in love with Beckham and so concerned about him. He still can't understand why the baby doesn't seem interested in his trains and other toys. He brings him stuff all day and says so excitedly, "I sharing momma! I share with Beckham!"

Kaden wasn't feeling super today. He spent a lot of time lying around, which happens only about once a year. It was a lazy-lay-on-the-couch-get-nothing-done sort of day.

Beckham is such a serious little kiddo. Catching him smiling on camera is proving to be quite a task. He smiles a lot though, and it melts my heart...just as it should. Kids are put on earth to turn their mommies into mush. It is sort of pathetic, actually.
Oh my blog must be so boring. I love it though. It's my life; it's me. It's all the things that make me happy, sad, and who I am. I am in the process of turning last years entries into a book and it's been so much fun. I have spent hours and hours rearranging things, reading old posts, adding and taking away photos, etc. It's going to be awesome (probably for no one but me, but still...) and I can't wait.
Please continue to remember my sweet friends in your thoughts and prayers.

My friends need prayers.

Please visit Tara and Isaac, and send lots of prayers up to Heaven for their sweet family. We know that faith brings miracles.

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Our day

in pictures:

It was a GOOD day.

Thursday, November 5, 2009


We went up to Mom and Dad's house today. Kaden has been begging to go for days; he loves it there. I took on the massive challenge of cleaning our car...yikes. I am actually embarrassed. I haven't wiped it down or vacuumed it in ages, and it was DIS.GUST.ING. Seriously, gross. Crumbs from crackers, juice splatters on the door, finger schmears on the window, a dead bee under the back windshield, 5 pair of sunglasses (3 of which were broken), lots of chapstick and lip gloss, change (I made a few bucks cleaning under the seats), gravel, pine needles, dust, a little Toby hair, melted get the idea. SICK. I had no idea it was that bad. Cootie infestation....but at least they were our cooties. I am so proud to say that it is now shining, sparkling, and cootie-free. Oh, the sweet satisfaction I have. I almost felt as good as I did after I ran a half-marathon. It was that great of an accomplishment.

John-Isaac entertained the little man. Kaden idolizes that guy. JI has an incredible model train up in his room, and Kaden just waits for the chance to go up there and watch the action. It's so cute how much these two love each other. The jury is still out as to who is the more train-obsessed one.

This totally looks like an engagement photo, but who cares. I say we look good together anyway. Matt's had a lot of time off work lately because the scheduling at Walmart is ridiculous. I guess I understand they need a computer to do all the work, since they have so many employees, but honestly. I am so sick of calling his managers and coercing them into fixing it (to accommodate the bus schedule). Part of me feels like I shouldn't feel entitled to whatever we want, but my mom so kindly reminded me that we deserve this, because in reality, this set of circumstances isn't what we really want. That's what moms are for, to make you feel better. My mom has mastered this task. I just get so frustrated having to fight for what seems like everything. There I go again, wanting it all my way.
And will someone please come and remove all of the delicious candy from our home? I have a major sweet-tooth and next to NO self-control. I need help. That help will come in the form of someone removing the temptation. I can't just get rid of it myself. Like I said, no self-control. Just come over when we're gone, and steal it. I give you my permission. Thanks.

Monday, November 2, 2009


What a fun Halloween we had! I think it was the best one ever. Holidays are 1000x more fun with a little, rambunctious, overly-excited child. He was ecstatic with everything we did. We took advantage of all of the fun things going on around here.

Friday we went trick-or-treating in downtown Bayfield. The weather was perfect and it was so fun to walk down the historic street. Everyone made such a big deal out of Kaden and he ate it up. He was thrilled to be a tiger, "raaaaarrr!". His sweet little, "tick or treat!" and "thank you" melted my heart. He is such a polite little guy.

I love, LOVE the chubby tiger bum!

Sweet baby. I love his cozy little giraffe jammies. He was snug as a bug all day.
On Halloween we went to a new development in Durango for the Fall Festival. They had blowup bouncy castles, music, free food, trick-or-treating, playgrounds, a fire engine, face painting, and happy little kids in adorable costumes everywhere. I loved that it was during the day. It was so warm and nice to be out.

This is one happy kid.

Nana with the babies. I feel SO lucky to live close to my mom. Kaden is absolutely in love with her. She is so fun, creative, and loving. Kaden and Beckham are such lucky little kids to grow up with her as their Nana.

Trunk-or-treat! I am so proud of my mom! She got mugged as a kid on Halloween and it pretty much scarred her for life. Really, she did. Some scary big kids came and beat up her brother, pushed her down, and stole their candy. Quite traumatizing for a little girl! She is coming around though and went all out this year! She even had a strobe light.
I think we really look alike, and I am happy about that.