Monday, June 18, 2012

pure love of a child

Sometimes I lay with one little boy or the other at nap time.  Sometimes it is just to get them to sleep.  Mostly, it's because I love to snuggle up to them and watch them sleep.  I love to have the peace and quiet, and frankly, I am so tired.  I sleep next to them more often than not, for at least 20 minutes.
The other day I was laying with Kaden, practically praying he would just settle down and go to sleep.  It was one of those days that I woke up ambitious,with lots of fun things in my mind, lots of plans.  By lunch I felt exhausted, we'd done nothing, and I felt so lame.  As Kaden finally grew tired, he said, "I love you so much Mom.  You are happiness.  You feel like love in my heart.  You are my best friend. I love you, Mama!"

I realized, again, that he doesn't know of my ambitious plans.  He didn't know all of the things I had wanted to do and didn't.  He just knows he has a Mom that loves him more than anything in the world and I try my best to tell him and show him that all of the time. I fall short, at least in my own mind, more often than not, but to this boy I am his world.  Even though I make mistake after mistake, I am tired, and I sometimes lose my patience, he forgives and forgets and continues to love me unconditionally.  I have to remind myself that we will do those fun things I planned, it just might not happen today, and that is okay.
K'NEX are Kaden's new favorite thing.  He is so happy playing in the living room all day.  This boy will have fun no matter what we are or are not doing.
This boy is happiness and love in my heart too.  Pure joy. 

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