Thursday, March 10, 2011
Kaden has been a wiggly one since before he was born. When I was pregnant with him I felt like he was moving all of the time! When I went in to the Dr. during my third trimester checkups he would tell me to do a "kick count". I should feel at least 10 movements every 2 hours after eating. Are you kidding me? There was no need for kick count. This boy gave me 10 movements every 2 minutes all. day. long.
When he was born he had muscly little legs that just kicked and kicked. He tried lifting his head, arching his back. He always wanted to be looking around. He was such a happy little guy and always on the move.
Fast forward 4 years and he's as wiggly as ever. This boy never stops. He is going from the minute he wakes up in the morning until nap time. After about an hour he is up for round 2. He is so entertaining and fun but can be absolutely exhausting. At the dinner table he is this way and that way, up, down and all over. It takes him forever to finish his food. I am constantly telling him to sit down, put his feet down, face forward, scoot his chair up, etc.
Right now we are going through a phase. At least I hope it's only a phase. I feel like this boy is never listening to me. I tell him things and ask him things over and over and it's like he is in some other world. I try to get him to look at me when I am talking but his eyes are wandering and he just can't hold still for even a second. I feel like he is getting in trouble for the same things over and over. Some days I feel like I have been on him about one thing or another every minute of the day. I don't think he intends to be naughty or to ignore me. He is just so busy.
I'm perplexed and unsure of what to do. His preschool teachers absolutely adore him and say he is one of their favorite kids, but they are having the same problems. They say he is bright, sweet, wants to please, and is a happy and good boy. But, it takes him 5 minutes to cut out a simple shape because he has to be constantly reminded to sit, focus, and cut. It's weird, because at home we can sit and read story after story and he is totally engrossed. He will sit at the counter and play with playdoh for hours. He will play quietly on the floor with a puzzle or train for hours. So it's not like he can't be still. I guess it just is under his terms. I've been a little worried about the possibility of ADHD, but his teachers don't think it should be a concern.
He is in a very selfish stage. He wants what he wants and doesn't seem to care if it will affect someone else, or if he's been told no. He will cut in line, take a toy away from someone, eat a piece of candy I told him he couldn't have, etc. When I talk to him about it the only thing he can say is "but I wanted..."
I love the fact that he is energetic and enthusiastic. I love that he is happy and excitable. I love that he is strong and agile and loves to be active. I love his exuberant spirit. I want him to be able to wiggle and run and jump around. I want him to stay just the way he is. I just want him to learn that there is an appropriate time to be a crazy man and there is a time to be still. Sometimes you get what you want, and sometimes you don't. I want him to learn that he has to be respectful of other people. He needs to listen to his parents and teachers. He needs to listen to his peers and hear their wants and needs too.
I have a few ideas but really am just at a loss. He's and active 4-year-old boy. It's hard to know what is just a normal behavior and what needs reprimanding and refocusing. I'm trying to have more quiet moments with something structured to focus on for short periods of time. We are doing a marble jar that seems to help. He earns and loses marbles and when the jar is full he gets a special toy or outing. He thrives on positive reinforcement. It breaks his heart when he gets in trouble or sees that he has disappointed someone. I know he wants to be good, it's just figuring out how to get him to focus, listen, and do what is asked, even if it isn't something he wants.
ANY suggestions? please?!