High in the sky!

Thursday we drove back home from Utah. I am sad that we missed a few friends, but we had a wonderful time with everyone we were able to meet up with. Next time, I will let people know in advance when we are coming!

Kaden is such a trooper in the car. He was getting so sick of it though and I was tired and had the worst headache. So, while driving through Green River we decided to stop at a park and play for a while. I had to take pictures of him on the swing because it was the most hilarious thing. He was laughing SO hard, and everytime he would swing forward his head would fall back. He was having so much fun it totally made my day. These simple things that bring so much joy to my little boy, make my life so rich. I love being his mom.

Daddy got him swinging really high...and Kaden was ecstatic.

Could he be any happier? I love those little gap teeth...so cute!

The new discoveries of a little boy

I had to get a new toothbrush since I forgot the electric one at home. Kaden sucked on it the whole week and it became a prized posession. I had to disinfect it everytime I wanted to use it. I am not sure what the allure was...he has one of his own! And look at that belly! I LOVE IT! Come over and rub it for luck, it works. He loves to have his belly rubbed too. It's one of the only times he will sit still for more than 2 seconds. He's giving Buddha a run for his money.


The tennis ball thrower was quite interesting... I wish I would have gotten a picture of him with a ping-pong ball in his mouth. This kid has a bigger mouth than I do. He would put one in there and walk around with chipmunk cheeks and part of the orange ball showing, it was pretty silly. He loved to watch the boys playing ping-pong and I think he upset the outcome of a couple games...


I also had a hard time pulling him away from the water fountain at the mall. I think he thought it was a swimming pool; he wanted to get in and splash around.


Kaden was in Heaven with all of the cords, controllers, games, containers, and schmorgaspord of new fascinating objects and electronics in the basement. Connor and Gabe....sorry if anything is missing, broken, or disassembled.


Sunshine and grass?!?! Could it be? Yes!

It was so fun watching Kaden run through the yard as fast and his little legs would carry him. He was so happy outside and when we brought him back in he went to the door and pointed to go out again. He managed to find the ONLY patch of snow...about a square foot of it....sat down and played in it and got totally soaked. I guess that is what he is familiar with!

Bright and funky new project....

I picked up a bunch of bright, funky, fun material for a quilt I am going to make for Kaden's "big boy room". I was so excited to get started and found I didn't have the stuff for the bobbin. So, I used the scraps and sewed this little pillow by hand. I like that none of the pieces really match up. I had a really good time making it. I am not a seasoned seamstress, but I will learn!

I am so excited to make the quilt! It's going to be fun, and the finished product will be SO cute...well, hopefully!

Walmart...a necessary evil....

I somehow always end up at this madhouse when the droves of other people just off of work are arriving. It seems we always spend more time in the line to pay than we do wandering the aisles. Kaden did this for about half the trip around the store and I thought it was too cute. Kaden...I feel your pain.

Prayer Baby....

He's pretty good at workin' the camera.

Matt took a few pictures the other day of Kaden and I playing...I just had to post a few because I am totally in love with this little boy. He is amazing and wonderful and everything I could have ever dreamed of.

When Matt had been out of the hospital for about a month, we caught him praying in the kitchen one day. His mom said, "Matt, what are you praying about" and his reply was, "Oh, I am just praying that soon Jess and I can make you a grandma". It was cute but I was thinking, "yeah, maybe in like 10 years". (At that point Matt was like a baby. He needed help with almost EVERYTHING...even putting on his socks was a confusing and difficult task.) He prayed for a baby pretty much everytime he prayed. I am not sure what made him so fervent in his efforts, but obviously he had some special connection with the Almighty, and major influence.

When I found out I was pregnant I almost died of shock. I have mentioned this before, but I was SO overwhelmed and worried about it. I prayed about it and instantly felt assured and overcome with a feeling of peace. I knew it was the right thing. I still tease Matt that he should be praying to heal, to regain memory, etc. since he has a very special "power". heehee.



Kaden came here for Matt....and he came here for ME. He is my world. I cannot imagine life without his special spirit in our family. He brings us constant joy. I love every second with this baby. He takes the stress OUT of life. I know that Kaden has a very special and unique spirit. He has a purpose in this family. He is a constant ray of sunshine and love. He gets his constant affection from his dad. He will all of a sudden be overcome with excitement and trot over to me as fast as he can and give me the biggest hugs and slobbery kisses. Nothing could make me happier. I love this littly boy more than words can express and I know that God knew what he was doing when he answered Matt's prayers.

***oh, and funny story. We had been here in Co. for about 4 months (and I was about 4 months pregnant, and still not telling many people). We were asked to speak in church. Matt was still a little uninhibited, and he was giving his talk. The topic was faith. He started by saying, "my wife Jessica, she was on birth control..." Immediately the bishop looked over to me as to question if he should stop him....haha. Matt continued, "but I am going to be a Dad, so apparently God doesn't care about that (b.c.)." It was hilarious and classic, I am sure no one in that meeting will ever forget that!***


"Mom....this is embarrassing...you are totally squishing my face!" I can't help it, he is SO kissable. It's like a reflex....I must kiss him at least 50x a day. MUUUAAAAAH!

Just wanted to say...

I am completely overwhelmed by the outpouring of words of encouragement and love. The emails and comments that continue to come as a result of my previous post are encouraging and bring tender feelings to my heart. I am so thankful to have such wonderful friends and family. I am so grateful for loved ones and strangers alike who express such words of compassion and tenderness. Thank you to everyone...you truly have bouyed me up.

"...it's not always rainbows and butterflies..."

I am a sunshiny-girl....and I like to try and see what is bright, what is best. If I were a crayon, I would be yellow. I am sometimes accused of sugar-coating, and pretending it's all alright. And, it mostly is. As great as things are, as happy as we are, and as much as we have to look forward too, it's not all sunshine. To put it candidly, sometimes things just plain aren't fair. Sometimes things are completely out of our control. Sometimes things are overwhelming and scary. For the most part, we try to ignore those harrowing thoughts and return to our "sunshiny" state, the optimistic side; we decide that we ARE where the grass is greener. This helps us survive, helps us find the happiness, and opens our hearts to what is good, the tender mercies we receive daily, and the miracles that flood our lives.

I never begrudge the success of those around me. I genuinely find joy in loved ones success, happiness, and achievement. I must admit however, that every time a friend gets a promotion, goes on some wild adventure, etc. there is a tinge of sadness. There is grief for what has been lost on our part. Dreams that were stollen in a matter of seconds. Ability, agility, mental clarity, ambition, years of hard earned knowledge and success, a drive for learning and accomplishment, working knowledge of many things----those things are a blur. Matt still has some of his motivation and ambition, but it has changed drastically. His sights must be set on a new bar now. One that is exponetially more challenging, but on many levels less rewarding....at least in his own mind. His frustration grows as he becomes more aware of limitations.

I try to be a positive force for him. I too feel overwhelmed and concerned for what our future might hold. But, I must say, that the most heart wrenching thing is seeing my sweet husband have to struggle on a daily basis. If I could, I would take all of his pain, frustration, and struggle from him. I earnestly believe that there is a plan for everyone. I believe that our life is exaclty according to plan, and I have immense faith that everything will work out just fine. I know that our story inspires others and maybe we can help someone out along the way. I know that we have learned incredible lessons through all of this, and we will continue learning those lessons.

Our lessons learned are countless...and I know there are many more to come. I will just include my favorite one. We have learned....and are learning what unconditional love is all about. We continue to learn how to treat each other, how to love each other, and how to overlook weaknesses. It is not always easy, because our life is nothing like we pictured it would be. We know we are in it for eternity, and I couldn't be more happy to be with my sweet husband forever.

Despite how undescribably hard some days are, I am so thankful that we can look around and notice the sunshine. Because the sun does shine every single day, no matter how cloudy it might be. I am so thankful that we are receptive to those blessings our Father in Heaven pours upon us daily. He gave us this challenge, and he is with us every step of the way, helping us and carrying us.