22 months-it's a big deal

My little chubby boy is 22 months old. Not necessarily a monumental age, but significant to us! He took his first steps yesterday. I was shocked, excited, and nearly teared up. I just couldn't believe it. Nana B was staying the night on her way home from Albuquerque. We were eating cutie oranges and Beckham wanted them so bad. He kept saying "apple!!" over and over and "bite, pwees, bite pwees, BITE!". I was on one couch, Traci the other, and he just walked over to get a slice of the orange. It was 2 or 3 steps, but so controlled and almost coordinated! We cheered and clapped and he giggled. We kept trying and he would go 2 or 3 steps, then he went at least 6 or 7. We were going crazy and he was beside himself. He loves to be praised and cheered for.

Today we tried again and he knew what we were up to and refused to cooperate. Little stinker. He was lifting his legs, swiveling his hips, and doing back-bends. That's just him though. He does his own thing in his own time. I have loved having him seem like a baby for so long and I know I will miss him crawling around, but I am excited for him to walk. He's made amazing progress in the past few months. He's getting stronger and hitting milestones faster than ever. It may still take a few months until he really gets going on his own, but I am so proud. He is so stinking adorable I can hardly stand it.

He is talking more and more everyday and says hilarious things. We always sing the abc's when brushing our teeth. If I forget to sing it, he starts. He tells Kaden to "be nice!" all of the time, even when he is the instigator, which is becoming more common. He counts, "1, 2, 3, 5, 6, 9, 6, 9," so cute. He says "bessh you!" every time someone sneezes. If he sneezes, he says, "beeshh you (pause)... Tank you!". He loves to say "yay!" and clap his hands when we cheer for him or someone else. He loves reading stories. He brings me books and says, "weed stowies?!" over and over. He still throws a crazy tantrum, but gets over things quickly. He is snuggly and full of hugs and kisses and "I laluv you!". He is a great self entertainer and is loving his new mobility. He is all over the place. He and Kaden are getting to be buddies. They also are learning to get irritated with each other and fight sometimes...but right now those fights are pretty funny. His new favorite thing is the trampoline. He loves to be bounced and it's so good for his developing balance and core strength. He loves water. LOVES water.

I am always overwhelmed with his cuteness and my love for him. It's hard to believe he is already almost 2. He brings more joy to this family than I could ever express. We are so lucky to have his little spirit in our home.

beautiful

Stunning, and so happy.

i love being smothered

I love being loved. I love being smothered, climbed on, kissed, and hugged incessantly. I love being cuddled and told "I love you" over and over. I feel blessed that my boys are all so affectionate toward me. I am sure that some of that comes from the fact that Matt and I completely smother them too. Sometimes I reach my limit and I don't want anyone to come within 10 feet of me. I just want my space. Most of the time though, I welcome a moment when one of the kids will come up and snuggle with me and love on me with their slobbery kisses and overzealous hugging. The moments are fleeting because they are always onto the next thing so I soak it in. These pictures are a little over exposed, but I love them. These boys love their mommy and I am grateful.

surprise ride on thomas

Last weekend we surprised Kaden with a trip on Thomas. My parents have taken him the last two years and he absolutely loves it. Thomas travels around the country. He attaches to the train and "pulls" it along while fun music plays and stories are told. It's a pretty fun little ride. There are also a lot of booths set up with games, stories, magicians, a petting zoo, and bouncy castles. Kaden was in Heaven. It is so fun to see his face light up when he is excited. He could barely contain his happiness in that little body of his. Beckham was pretty excited too when he woke up to find himself on a train ride! Matt and I had such a fun day seeing our little guys happy and having so much fun. I love surprising them. Now, Kaden just needs to learn that the word "surprise" doesn't necessarily mean present. He was still expecting a gift after the day was done. We talked about it and I think he gets it now. He was still so appreciative. He said numerous times, all day long, "thank you so much mommy and daddy for taking me on Thomas!!", and "I love you, I LOVE YOU!".

cool little dude

He's so handsome!

i bit back

Yesterday we had a beautiful day together as a family. We surprised Kaden with a train ride and he was ecstatic. There was a little part of the day that soured my attitude for a few minutes though.

We pulled up to one of our favorite little places to eat. There were two handicapped spots, one by the entrance, the other about 20 feet away under a tree. I had just washed my car and didn't want sap dripping on it, so I pulled into the one closest to the door. Immediately, a man jumped out of the car behind us and came up to us and very rudely asked, "are you guys really handicapped?" I nodded yes and he continued, "well, just so you know we have an 80-year-old that could really use that space." I get it, but his tone and gestures were outrageous. I would have been happy to move for him if he really needed it, but he walked away throwing his hand in the air.

We got out and watched as their 80-year-old stepped out of his car and walked to the wheelchair they had for him, sat down and was pushed inside. The rude man had to walk an extra 20 feet...not the 80-year-old.

We got in line and a sweet lady turned around to me and very sincerely said, "I am so sorry that man was so rude to you about your parking spot." I smiled at her and said that it was okay, we get looks a lot because of our young age. She told me that she has MS and several disabled children and things like that infuriate her. I wasn't really mad at this point, just baffled at how rudely the man acted, and then after he saw Matt hobble inside, didn't offer an apology, or even an apologetic look or a smile. Nothing.

We got our food and sat down to eat. When we were almost finished eating, the sweet lady came over to me and said, "I just feel impressed to give this to you", handing me a gift card to that restaurant. "I know that God feels so sad when people treat you that way and I am really sorry." She was so empathetic and sincere. Her kindness totally made my day. Matt went to the restroom while I gathered the kids and threw our trash away.

As I was walking out the door I asked Kaden to run in and tell Daddy that we would just meet him at the car. The 80-year-old and the other man were standing nearby and said, "yeah, and we are waiting for him to come out so we can use the bathroom." There are several stalls in there, but whatever. I told him that he would be out eventually. As Kaden ran in to tell Matt, he barely brushed up against the old man's arm. I apologized and the rude man rolled his eyes and threw his hand up again.

When Kaden came out, I decided that we would just wait for Matt right there. I could see that these men were getting very impatient and I was about to go say something to Matt myself, when the rude man said, "what is this guy doing in there, BATHING?!?" I got so mad. I am one that never says anything when things like this happen. I bite my tongue and pretend I didn't hear it. I just couldn't do that this time. I walked over to him and said very firmly, "excuse me but you are so rude. You have absolutely NO idea what that man has been through in his life. Your comment was extremely rude and uncalled for and you were so belligerent when we parked in the handicapped space." He interrupted me and said, "Ma'am, I just asked if you really were handicapped. I saw two young people pull in and figured you didn't need that spot." His tone was still so rude and his demeanor made my blood boil. I just said, "yeah, that was very judgemental and maybe next time you should think twice before deciding whether or not someone deserves your space." Matt came out and heard part of it and just nodded to the man and curtly said, "have a nice day." We walked away and I asked Matt how his bath was.

Maybe I was really rude too and I shouldn't have said anything. I just get so protective of Matt and I couldn't believe this guy. Maybe I live in a little bubble of happy people, but I just don't run into this kind of thing, at all really. I kind of feel bad for people like this who seem to have so much anger in their heart and they just can't be happy, or even kind to people.

I went in my car and tears were stinging my eyes. At first I was really mad. Then I felt so sad. I called my mom and told her the story and Matt and I talked about it and I got over it and we had a great day together. I watched with a smile as Matt pushed the kids in their stroller. I know that I, we, are blessed. Life isn't perfect, people are mean sometimes, but things really are so good.

because they are just too dang cute

and I can't help myself.

Sunday before bed we enjoyed a little time in the driveway. We colored with chalk, watered flowers, and I loved watching the boys be silly. Beckham is hilarious. He loves to be outside more than anything and he is always on a mission. He's gotten so fast and he's into everything. It makes me so happy to see him moving everywhere. They were being hilarious so I grabbed the camera and took a bajillion pictures. I really can't get enough of these sweet faces.

I love Beck's cheesy grin. Usually he squints both eyes and smiles really big. It's so funny. He is such a ham and knows how to flirt and get attention. He is good at it, and it always makes me laugh.

This boy is getting so big, so fast.

I loved watching Beckham bear crawl. He didn't want to touch the wet cement with his knees. He also went up and down the steps about 50 times.

Kaden ran around like usual. I love his happy little spirit. He is so full of love and energy and watching him play and enjoy his life 100% makes me the happiest mom.

I'm so lucky to get to play with these two all of the time. They bring me joy like I can't explain. Looking at them and their sweet, amazing, perfect faces fills me with love. Watching them learn and grow fulfills me. Seeing Beckham improve by leaps and bounds excites me to no end. I've said it a million times, and I'll never quit, these boys are perfect. They light up my life.

ball dropper

photo via

I think that should be my new nickname. Or maybe it should have been my nickname all along. Heaven knows I am good at it. I am getting worse and worse though and fear I have early onset dementia or something. I am also the queen of procrastination, one of my best and worst qualities, but we'll save that for another day. These two things don't do so well together.

During our relay it seemed like everything I touched went missing. I packed the cabin keys with my stuff but didn't realize it so we checked out with no keys and had to bring them back later. I left the keys in the car after grabbing something out, and thankfully didn't remember to lock the car, like I should have. BALL DROPPER.

I cannot even say how many times I had to call my poor mom when I was in school. Half the time I was in tears, "Mom, I left my very very very very important paper that I had weeks to work on and started last night, on the computer and it's due in an hour...will you please drive through a blizzard risking life and limb to bring it to me?" "Mom, the bus is leaving for my basketball game in 5 minutes and my uniform is in the dryer. Will you make a 100 mile trip, early, to bring it to me?" Lunches were forgotten on the counter. Field-trip money was turned in late. Permission slips went unsigned. Cups with breakfast drinks rolled under seats in the car and stayed there for days...

In college I tried to organize myself. I have started countless planners, excited, with great intentions. I used them for a few days, weeks, or even months, but I never stick to it. Even when I do use them, I write things down, but never go back to see what I wrote. Despite my seeming forgetfulness in some areas, my memory is (was) quite impeccable. I could somehow manage a 21 credit schedule and pull off a 4.0, never writing a thing down. I somehow was able to be active in church, recreation, social life, school, etc. I still dropped the ball a little, or a lot, but for everything I had going on, I felt I was doing okay. I still drove myself, and probably everyone else, nuts sometimes.

Now?!? I am worse than ever. I crave organization and order. I wish that I kept up with paperwork. I wish I wasn't a lazy bum who throws things on the counter to put away later. I wish everything had a place and always went there. I wish I could keep a planner. I wish I would write on the ginormous calendar that hangs on my wall, that if I were writing on would be visible from everywhere. I wish I could remember to call people back. I wish there weren't thank-you notes that I wrote months ago sitting on the counter with bills that I should have paid days ago. I wish that I wasn't always running exactly 10 minutes late (despite how much extra time I allow myself) everywhere I go. I wish I didn't have to sheepishly answer the phone when my sweet mom or mother-in-law calls to ask if I have completed a task (that they so lovingly assign and follow up on....they know me too well). I wish I would remember to get Matt's new glasses and find a new brace guy. I wish that when I did remember things it wasn't 3 in the morning or in the middle of my work day.

Sometimes things don't get done because I absolutely don't even think about it. And it's not just the simple menial stuff. Important things that should be pressing on my mind at all times don't even cross my mind. When I finally do remember I am in a panic because how the heck could I forget something so important?! and now there are going to be crazy consequences!

I wish this didn't have to affect me, my kids, my husband, and everyone around me. I mostly feel bad for my kids and Matt though. I filled out the soccer registration form the day I got it. A month before it was due. I forgot to take it to turn in that day, and eventually it went in some paper file and guess who didn't get to play soccer? I am still kicking myself. I have had a child in diapers for 4 1/2 years and I still regularly leave the house without diapers and/0r wipes. I really get so irritated and frustrated with myself. It's embarrassing and it seems like I should be able to get it together. When I do manage to organize, remember, pay attention, do things on time or even early, I feel so much better. I have more time and energy for other things.

It might be true that I can juggle a lot at one time. But, I guarantee for how ever many balls I have flying up in the air, there are a few I won't catch and a whole bunch lying on the ground at my feet. And one of these days I might just get so frustrated I'll drop them all and take a nap.

getting dirty

So, as I have mentioned before, some serious t.l.c. has been put into our (back) yard. Last year our very hard working and loving parents poured hours into helping us excavate, weed, trench, set up a sprinkler system, seed, rake, you name it. I felt so grateful.

My dad has been over a few times this spring and we've been meticulously tweaking the sprinklers to ensure there will be no more dry spots. I have always known that man is a genius. I swear, he can figure anything out. I have reseeded and mowed that baby and it's looking beautiful. It still has a ways to go, but I still feel so proud.

There is something so rewarding about working hard. My back hurts, I'm filthy, hot, sunburned, and tired, and it feels so good. I love watching my little boys digging and playing and helping me water. I'm still totally overwhelmed with all that has to be done, but it's a fun process. And, maybe by the time I am done, I won't have killed everything in the meantime. I'm not known to have a green thumb.



The boys are getting absolutely filthy. They take a bath every night, but could use a few a day. It seems like a crime to put them in their clean beds looking like they do, even at nap time. They are loving every second though. The other night after their bath the water literally did resemble a mud puddle. After the water drained, the bathtub was full of sand. I love seeing those cute kids running around having fun, getting filthy and basking in every minute. There isn't anything much better than cozying up next to fresh, clean, yummy-smelling kids after a long day of play.

Seriously, just look at that dirty mug! For some reason, he feels the need to run around naked half the time. It' s probably because he goes through about 10 changes of clothes every day and like me, is getting a little annoyed by that. Problem solved. I am trying to convince him to at least wear shorts.

Toby is so cute and just the perfect dog for our family. We love him so much. He just loves being out there with us. He's like a little shadow. He literally is everywhere I am. The boys love him like crazy. He often comes with us when we go places. The other day he was sitting between the kid's carseats and Beckham was petting his head saying over and over, "doood dod tobes. doood dod!"

Kaden is still totally obsessed with "roley polies." He is constantly on a quest to find more. He's also added hunting for toads to his to-do list.
I am already loving this summer so much. I always love summer, but for some reason, this one already feels special.