Sunday, June 19, 2011

i bit back


Yesterday we had a beautiful day together as a family. We surprised Kaden with a train ride and he was ecstatic. There was a little part of the day that soured my attitude for a few minutes though.

We pulled up to one of our favorite little places to eat. There were two handicapped spots, one by the entrance, the other about 20 feet away under a tree. I had just washed my car and didn't want sap dripping on it, so I pulled into the one closest to the door. Immediately, a man jumped out of the car behind us and came up to us and very rudely asked, "are you guys really handicapped?" I nodded yes and he continued, "well, just so you know we have an 80-year-old that could really use that space." I get it, but his tone and gestures were outrageous. I would have been happy to move for him if he really needed it, but he walked away throwing his hand in the air.

We got out and watched as their 80-year-old stepped out of his car and walked to the wheelchair they had for him, sat down and was pushed inside. The rude man had to walk an extra 20 feet...not the 80-year-old.

We got in line and a sweet lady turned around to me and very sincerely said, "I am so sorry that man was so rude to you about your parking spot." I smiled at her and said that it was okay, we get looks a lot because of our young age. She told me that she has MS and several disabled children and things like that infuriate her. I wasn't really mad at this point, just baffled at how rudely the man acted, and then after he saw Matt hobble inside, didn't offer an apology, or even an apologetic look or a smile. Nothing.

We got our food and sat down to eat. When we were almost finished eating, the sweet lady came over to me and said, "I just feel impressed to give this to you", handing me a gift card to that restaurant. "I know that God feels so sad when people treat you that way and I am really sorry." She was so empathetic and sincere. Her kindness totally made my day. Matt went to the restroom while I gathered the kids and threw our trash away.

As I was walking out the door I asked Kaden to run in and tell Daddy that we would just meet him at the car. The 80-year-old and the other man were standing nearby and said, "yeah, and we are waiting for him to come out so we can use the bathroom." There are several stalls in there, but whatever. I told him that he would be out eventually. As Kaden ran in to tell Matt, he barely brushed up against the old man's arm. I apologized and the rude man rolled his eyes and threw his hand up again.

When Kaden came out, I decided that we would just wait for Matt right there. I could see that these men were getting very impatient and I was about to go say something to Matt myself, when the rude man said, "what is this guy doing in there, BATHING?!?" I got so mad. I am one that never says anything when things like this happen. I bite my tongue and pretend I didn't hear it. I just couldn't do that this time. I walked over to him and said very firmly, "excuse me but you are so rude. You have absolutely NO idea what that man has been through in his life. Your comment was extremely rude and uncalled for and you were so belligerent when we parked in the handicapped space." He interrupted me and said, "Ma'am, I just asked if you really were handicapped. I saw two young people pull in and figured you didn't need that spot." His tone was still so rude and his demeanor made my blood boil. I just said, "yeah, that was very judgemental and maybe next time you should think twice before deciding whether or not someone deserves your space." Matt came out and heard part of it and just nodded to the man and curtly said, "have a nice day." We walked away and I asked Matt how his bath was.

Maybe I was really rude too and I shouldn't have said anything. I just get so protective of Matt and I couldn't believe this guy. Maybe I live in a little bubble of happy people, but I just don't run into this kind of thing, at all really. I kind of feel bad for people like this who seem to have so much anger in their heart and they just can't be happy, or even kind to people.

I went in my car and tears were stinging my eyes. At first I was really mad. Then I felt so sad. I called my mom and told her the story and Matt and I talked about it and I got over it and we had a great day together. I watched with a smile as Matt pushed the kids in their stroller. I know that I, we, are blessed. Life isn't perfect, people are mean sometimes, but things really are so good.

8 comments:

Lacy said...

I am really happy you bit back. Maybe that isn't super kind of me either but as I was reading I just kept thinking, "I hope see snaps on this jerk." Ace and I both think you handled it well. We need to be nice but some people need to have a reality check and I think you handled it wonderfully. Maybe a slap or two next time:-). Just teasing but I am happy you said something.

gin said...

WOh my goodness I am so glad you bit back! I am like you but that would have sent me over the edge. Good for you Jess!

Tyrell said...

I was so mad and my heart was racing when I was reading this. I seriously don't understand those kind of people. He seemed to be totally and completely self-centered and he deserved every word of what you had to say.

Tara said...

Being kind doesn't mean being a doormat! Good for you! I think there are certainly times that call for assertiveness and for standing up for what's right.

Dan and Ashley said...

oh. man. you are a saint Jess. I can't believe you even think you snapped - what you said wasn't even close to what was deserved. Glad you ended on a better note. Miss you guys. Thinking about you guys today...

Trevor Heidi McCoy said...

YEAH FOR JESS!! All the previous comments express exactly how we felt when reading this. We love you and we love Matt. Some people almost deserve to be miserable and obviously those two men were just that. We love you and we're glad you have such a happy family.

Sandi said...

Good for you! I probably would have just stood there with my mouth open, trying not to cry. What jerks. :)

Marisa said...

JEEEESSSICAAA!!!!!! :) Okay first off,.. honestly you didn't even come CLOSE to saying what I was saying in my head as I READ THIS!!! I really can't believe you think that you were out of line BECAUSE YOU WEREN"T!!! You gave that man SEVERAL chances to be the better person.. and honestly he NEEDED to hear what you said.. and a few more words in my opinion~I'm just sayin...~ And you were extremely polite in your set down! So GLAD that you finally said something.. Only wish i could have been there to witness it!!! And I'm SOOO proud of you for not crying in front of him!! my problem is I cry when I'm angry.. so i probably would have been a blubbering fool if i was you..lol BUT I can stand up for my friends no problem!! YOU make sure to point that man out to me next time.. and I will just DARE him to say something, or look or even smile wrong.. and just see what happens!!!! :) lol anyways, since i've written a short novel, I will come to a close...lol I am very proud of you; that jerk off deserved it.. and you were the bigger person for giving him several chances.. he needed to hear it and know that he can't get away with saying rude things like that.... can't believe he had the nerve AHHHHH!!! Ok i'm officially off of my soap box now... LOVE YOU!!! and so proud of you!!!!