Tuesday, September 1, 2009

one day at a time

We are still just playing a waiting game with little Beckham. He is in charge and doesn't seem to want to cooperate. Yesterday he was digesting a little better, taking in about 6 cc's every 4 hours. He also gained back 2 of the 9+ ounces he had lost. Today, he seems to have regressed and has had to skip several feedings because he isn't digesting. He still receives nutrition through an IV port. Poor little thing has been stuck and poked so many times. They have to change his IV site several times a day. I feel bad for him.

Beckham needs to be either nursing or bottling all of his feedings, gaining weight steadily, and taking in at least 10X what he is getting now before he is able to come home. That seems like a big hurdle at the moment, but with time, he will get there. How much time? I am impatient.

It is discouraging to me, even though I try not to let it be, but I just want to bring him home so bad. I miss my little Kaden. He has been staying with his Nana and Papa a majority of the time. I haven't seen him much and I am going through my little man withdrawals. He is having a blast though and hardly misses me. I am so happy that he is so thrilled to be with 2 of his very favorite people.

I feel so torn though. I want to be at the hospital with Beckham, holding him and keeping up with his progress and setbacks. I want to be home with Matt and Kaden, living our everyday life in our own home. I know that time will go by and that Beckham will come home, and this will all just seem like a little bump in the road.

So, not much new to report. We just have to take one day at a time and pray that Beckham's little body starts cooperating. I hope that he gets it soon, and we can bring him to his new, cozy, warm home.


Jodi and Mike said...

Jessica...I work in the NICU at American Fork Hospital and I promise you that even the little setbacks are progress. Think of your time in the NICU as a 12 inch ruler. The first little bit while Beckam is learning what he is supposed to do is long and is like 10inches, once he figures it out and starts eating his full feeds at least every other feed the last 2 inches are easy and go by way fast. It's hard to be patient when you don't feel like you are going anywhere but he will surprise you. The little ones always do! Make sure you are getting plenty of rest yourself and giving Beckam time to rest as well so he can grow and progress.

Brooke said...

I can TOTALLY sympathize with this! Once he gets it, he will progress fast. We focused on just bottle feeding for Jasper because it is easier on the preemies. I pumped and finally started to nurse a few months later. Hang in there. Praying for you both.


Wendy said...

Thinking about you guys. Let us know if there is anything you need. Kaden seems to be in good spirtits so try not to feel bad. I know it in our mother's nature...things will look up soon.

Sandi said...

I know what you're going through. Alaina was in the hospital 2 1/2 weeks. (She was 6 1/2 weeks early) Hang in there! It'll go by faster than you think. We'll be praying for you guys.


Susan said...

We will keep him in our prayers. Let me know if you need ANYTHING! Hang in there.

MoDLin said...

Congratulations on the birth of little Beckham. (What beautiful hair!!!) Our little guy was born 6 weeks early and his biggest challenge was eating. It took several weeks, but he finally got the hang of it and now is about to celebrate his 10th birthday. Beckham will get there when he's ready.

If you'd like to chat with other parents of preemies, visit the March of Dimes community called Share Your Story: http://www.shareyourstory.org/. You'll find lots of support.

Nicole Wood said...

Jess, we know you are a WONDERFUL mom! I'm so glad Kaden is also blessed with loving grandparents who can take care of him while you tend to Beckham. Just know that you are in my prayers and that I love you!

Team Avarell said...

Hi Jessielibby,
Hi dear heart. Thinking of you from AZ. I'm so glad that Nana and Papa are there for Kaden to have his own adventure staying with them!! DJ loved being at his Grammy and Papa's house. When we left him, he just said, bye!! Not a tear. So no worries about him.
I know you're anxious and who wouldn't be- but say a little prayer for that cause time will come when he comes home! Happy happy for that day! Yay.
Love you mucho, x0x0 Pam

Traci Barnes said...

Jess and Matt,
We are all praying for little Beckham to start chowing down (how can he be related to me and not love to eat?). You have a wonderful mom and dad - so thankful for that. We love you all.