nana

There's just something so special about my mom. Okay, actually there are a lot of things special about her. I love the way my kids adore her. She is indispensable to me; she watches the boys every day when I work and rearranges her schedule and bends over backwards for me. I don't even know how to thank her for it. I feel so comfortable and at ease knowing she is in charge of my most precious things in life. There is no one I trust more that her. Her influence on them is invaluable. She cares for them like I would on my best days. She loves them like no one else and I know that while they are with her she gets next-to-nothing done because they are her priority. I love that she is so fun for them. She takes them on bike rides, nature walks, reads them stories, plays games, and makes their time so much fun they don't miss me one bit. Even Toby goes nuts running around in circles when she shows up or he gets to go to her house.

Every now and then Kaden gets to go spend the night at Nana and Papa's house for a special treat. He giddily anticipates the moment he gets to go and loves to help me pack his bag. Of course he is spoiled rotten, gets to stay up late and drink chocolate milk, but he is in Heaven and I think that Nana and Papa savor that special time with the little man. My parents go down to New Mexico every 5 weeks or so and Kaden misses them so much. He talks about them nonstop, wants to call them, and says regularly, "Mama, when we going to Nana's house? I miss Nana."

One of Beckham's first words was "Nana" and he is completely attached. She is the only other person, besides Matt occasionally, that he will reach to and lean out of my arms for. He's a mama's boy and doesn't seem to want anyone else, so it's a big deal to see him dive to his Nana.

I love it when my mom shows up and she runs to my boys with her arms outstretched saying their names in a high pitched squeal. She bends down to their level and completely engulfs them with her soft, warm, loving hugs. It warms my heart to see her love for these little boys and their reciprocated adoration for her.

I feel so lucky that she is my mom. I have always said that I want to be just like her when I grow up. I feel so lucky she is my boy's Nana. What a blessing she is to them and I know that they will cherish the memories they have with her.

it's more fun

to be naked.

Okay, that might not always be true. I've had dreams where I am somewhere in public and have somehow forgotten a very important article of clothing. It's never fun, even in a dream. And why do we dream up those kinds of things? I know you've had 'em too. Those cute little people like to be sans-clothes though. Especially Beckham. The minute the clothes come off he's giddy, giggling, and rolling around like it's a party. I just can't get enough of the over sized belly. Kaden can't either. He's always giving Becks the "buzz" (raspberries) and it never seems to grow old. I love the chubs. Scrumptious.

Speaking of scrumptious, our joint-custody garden has produced some amazing stuff. Kaden and Beckham each ate two tomatoes today like they were sweet apples. We can't keep up with the tomato growth, but I am having fun coming up with new ways to eat them. I am adding them to everything. Last month it was zucchini. We had some crazy zucchinis. It's actually a little scary to go out to the garden and stumble upon a zucchini that has been overlooked and is now the size of your thigh. Something about that is just creepy. They were delicious though. There is something so rewarding about eating a fresh dinner with most of it coming straight from the garden. It feels so good to put healthy, fresh, nutritious food into my favorite boys.

colors of the season

I've been looking forward to today all week. Monday is Matt's day off, and every Monday morning when we wake up he asks, "what's our plan today babe?" I sheepishly reply, every time, that the plan is to catch up on cleaning, yard work, and grocery shopping. He always complies with no complaint. This week I decided we would actually do something special. We spent the day driving from Durango, to Silverton, then to Ouray to soak up the nothing-short-of-magnificent change in colors. An almost 200 mile roundtrip, and over 4,000 feet elevation climb and decent. It was spectacular, breathtaking, and an absolutely perfect day. I am so happy that the day went better than expected. The boys were happy. Matt was happy, awake, talkative and smiley. I just couldn't believe how beautiful it was. I loved the fresh air blowing in our windows, listening to the boys giggle in the back, and holding my mister's hand as we wound over, around, and through the mountains.

As we climbed out of Durango we came upon these four little rams in a perfect row enjoying a snack. They didn't seem to even notice the cars all parked on the side of the road and a bunch of people snapping their picture.

We took the opportunity to stop at lookouts, take pictures, and wander around wherever possible. (If only the photos could do the actual beauty of the scenery justice.) We stopped at a rustic little store for treats and cold drinks, and the boys were so cute in the backseat with their candy covered faces and sticky hands.

When we got to Ouray we wandered the main street. I had forgotten how cute that little town is. They call it the Switzerland of Colorado. We had hamburgers and fries at a little cafe and then headed over to the ice cream shop. I wish I had gotten pictures of the little people inhaling their frozen treats. They were positively in Heaven.

I had planned on taking some family photos on this little trip. I worried about the sunlight being too harsh on the way up, but by the time we were heading back we were quickly losing the sun. The pictures didn't turn out at all. My camera wasn't focused right, Kaden was hyper and Beckham wouldn't smile for anything. I was running back and forth from the tripod to my spot before the picture snapped. I was trying to tickle Beckham and say "cheeeeesse" for Kaden and we all look pretty ridiculous in every picture. It was fun anyway.

I kind of love it when Beckham looks at Kaden like he is crazy.

I'm so glad the day went perfectly. Sometimes I get excited for things and someone is grumpy, it's too hot, too cold, someone is whining, etc. but this time things went even better than I'd hoped.

first day

I never updated on what we decided with the preschool situation. I turned down the two full days, and got several calls over the next few weeks for openings for full days. I just couldn't do it and feel really good about that decision. We decided to be on the waiting list for the 2 half days. Last week we got a call for an opening on Tues. and Thurs. mornings. Last Tuesday was his first day. He's been so excited to go and woke in the morning thrilled to be able to go to his first day of school. I felt a little sad! I get it now. I really wanted to cry. I took him in to his classroom and it was so cute. He 's going to love it and I think he'll thrive in the social environment--as long as he learns a few boundaries and stops hugging and kissing everyone all of the time. He was overwhelmed at first and wanted me to stay. He clung to me and cried when I walked out. I felt my eyes burning a little. Within 10 seconds he had stopped crying. When I picked him up three hours later he was so happy to see me but loved his first day of school. I could tell he felt like such a big boy and was so proud of himself. The teachers said he did great and was excited to be there. I knew this was going to be harder on me. I am too emotional, sentimental, and generally pathetic when it comes to this kind of thing. It's so fun to see my boy grow and progress and gain independence, but I didn't know it would tear at my heart like it does. It's cliche, but as a mom, you really just want time to slow down and you want your little ones to stay small forever. You want to hold them close and never let them go out into the real world (okay, maybe preschool isn't the real world, but still...), and you want to protect them from every hurt, pain, and difficulty. I am pretty sure I am not cut out to have a lot of kids because I just couldn't handle it.
On another note, I had to write a few things down Kaden has said lately. Holy cow he cracks me up. I really wonder where he comes up with this stuff.

M: Kaden it's time for bed.
K: Mom, I'm just so sick and tired of my bed. It's making me very fustrated and irritated.
M: Why?
K: Because it's too long. My bed it too long for me.
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One of his friends was mean to him the other day. Kaden is so sensitive and has been talking about it for days. It broke my heart too!
K: I just don't want him to be rude to me mommy. I am a big, nice boy and he made my feelings hurt so bad.
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M: Kaden, you already had 2 stories tonight so it's time to say prayers and go to bed.
K: I just need two hundred stories first.
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There is a field on the hill by our house with a bunch of cows. The other day we were running low on milk and at breakfast Kaden said, "Daddy you need to go milk those cows and bring us new milk."
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M: Kaden, what did I just say? I think I told you to get in your car seat so we can go.
K: No Mom, it was just your imagination.
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Every time he cries he says, "My eyes are dripping and making me wet, and I just so sad." So cute.

he's growing!

We went to Beckham's one year appointment yesterday and he's picked right up from his short lag in growth. He was just shy of 21 lbs, 29.5 inches long, and 49 cm for his head. That puts him back up to 25% for weight, 45% for height, and still above the 95% for head size (but his head is slowing down finally!). He's growing and getting stronger all the time. He had to get 4 shots and a blood draw. I HATED it so much. He cried and cried as they stuck him several times to finally find a vein. I just wish there was some way of explaining what is going on so he doesn't think we're just hurting him. I think he knows that I'm not the one hurting him because I get the best cuddles right after and he savored every little lick on the sucker I gave him for being so brave.

sometimes you're just too tired...

becks and tobes

Today while Kaden napped, Beckham and I played on the floor, did some PT, and enjoyed it being just the two of us. Only moments after we began our little play date, a friend joined us and laid right down in the middle of everything. He was so obnoxious and demanded attention. Beckham loves Toby so much. He was giggling, squealing, shrieking, burying his head in Tobes, and absolutely beside himself. I love this series of pictures because watching the two of them wrestle around was just hilarious. I loved every second and am so glad my camera was handy. I also love the fact that Toby will let Beckham poke his eyes, pull on his ears, roll on him and do whatever he wants and he doesn't even get the least bit bothered by it.